But enough is enough, I've been used and abused, far too
often to allow it to continue any longer.
Time and time again, people offer to help with something and
in reality they are only looking to gain either personally, professionally or
financially. Enough is enough.
I don't play politics and I don't have an ego (So I'm told)
My problem is I'm too trusting, too forgiving and I think it's time I changed
all that and stopped being a super highway for other people's egos.
There is only so many times you can be used and abused.
There are so many times you can lose your job because someone decides you make
them look bad.
There are only so many times that offers of help are stymied
by those only looking for personal gain.
There are only so many times, you can offer your hand in
friendship to help others and they walk all over you.
Well starting today, things are going to change.
I always said that "You can only rely on you and you
only" Well that is now so true, it's almost criminal.
I am beginning to understand why people turn into loners and
Lonely old women with a 100 cats. I really can.
I have my darling husband, he'll keep me tethered and stop
me turning into that mad woman down the street with a 100 cats, I'll make a concession
and only keep 2.
I won't hoard animals, but I certainly won't hoard associates
nor useless, using friends.
I'm sick of the tears, I'm sick of feeling angry and frustrated.
I'm sick of feeling used and abused.
My ability to trust has slowly been eroded over the years
and tonight was the last straw. my trust just collapsed into a chasm deeper
than I thought possible.
My spirit might be broken, but my soul is still my own,
no-one will ever own that.
AND if you are reading this from on the internet and I haven't
met you in person. I'm sorry - but you don't rate in any of this. But I can't
trust you until I meet you. End of story.
Posts
As a non rater, feeling only slightly hurt, obviously there is a lot behind this. I can only reiterate, do with good grace, expecting no thanks, or don't do at all.
ReplyDeleteI've got a funny feeling I'd like you............ :)
DeleteAnd yes you are right - about the 'a lot behind this post' comment................... There's A LOT behind this post, that if I was to publish would be slanderous to many people and I don't do things like that.
Never have and never will - which is why I'm so different from many :(
thank-you for your comments Andrew
I think this is why most if my friendships exist only or mostly online. In my mind I have more control over them and I think if they are less 'human' is minimises the hurt. No matter what I will always be that online friend you can vent to when you need to xox
ReplyDeleteLife is full of disappointments. I stopped trusting people when I became a Police Officer because even the Victims Lie and I got caught out more than once. Now I say that at least one person will let me down today and unfortunately I am seldom wrong. When I am wrong that makes that day better than the day before. Trust no one and you will never be let down. Like only those that make you smile.
ReplyDeleteGF - thank-you for the comments - I tend to agree with you
ReplyDeleteAndy - I'v also learnt that police officers lie - so my adage of "rely on yourself only' applied even more. I honestly have no idea where society is going, as in your postition, you undoubtly wonder yourself.
Thank-you for being in that role and thank-you for trying to help - even when those you are trying to help lie to you :(
Thank-you for the comments
Wow... It feels like you're posting straight from my own mind. I'm sorry to hear you are suffering this. I know that it is not pleasant. :-( I'm nearing 30, and in my first 5 years of life and ever since, I learned just how bad people were and continue to be. Bad from the start whose sole aim in life becomes ruining me, or users who don't even offer to help, but demand or allow me to help them and aren't there when I need them.
ReplyDeleteJaz'hiaran