Responsibly or lack of it – Police Chases – do we or don’t we?

I am so sick of people looking for more ways to stop people doing things that previously common sense dictated were stupid and life-threatening.

In the 10 days of the year 2012, several things spring to mind. The first being the incidents on New Years Eve, one resulting in death, another possible blindness in one eye and another resulting in broken ribs. These fireworks were illegal. Fireworks in the state of Victoria have been illegal (note the word illegal) since 1985. 2003 - Fireworks Every year, people are warned to avoid ILLEGAL fireworks, they are dangerous and they cause noise pollution, which in turn frightens animals nearby.

Add to this the risk of scrub/bushfires in the vicinity of the illegal fireworks and you have a mixed bag that when shaken can cause death. At about 6minutes after midnight on the 1^st January 2012, the CFA website listed approx 12 fires that were thought to have occurred after fireworks were lit. 30 minutes later exactly the same thing happened in South Australia o the CFS site.

Now, the most recent event, which will involve more laws aimed at curtailing the power of the authorities and giving more power to the hoodlums of Australia are police car chases, which most of the time involve stolen vehicles, mostly male occupants, mostly under the age of 25, and often affected by drugs or alcohol or both.

QLD
2011 - Editorial - Qld police lose faith in car chase laws
“Police Commissioner Bob Atkinson said the average penalty was inadequate.”
“Nineteen people have been killed and 737 injured during police pursuits since 2000,”

2011 - LNP (Political) CMC highlights Police Upset with Car Chase Penalties
“criminals had a green light to evade police on our roads under this Labor Government and its anti-pursuits stand”

NSW

2011- 2 Car Chases, One Car, 100's KM Apart
“RTA checks found the vehicle had a cancelled registration and was not fitted with number plates.”

2010 - Horror Car Crash Sparks Call for Police Chase Ban
"It almost invites people to flee and to avoid the police after potentially having committed very serious crimes,"

2010 - Police Want Tough Law on Car Chases
"Highway patrol officers have called on the State Government to introduce a mandatory three-year sentence for people who force the police to pursue them."

VIC
2011 - 19yo Dies in Tree Car Crash After Cobram Police Chase
"It is a concern as to why young people don't want to pull over,'' Commander De Santo said.

2011- Spikes Fail to Stop High Speed Driver
“but called off the pursuit after the driver turned off the headlights and the chase was deemed too dangerous.”

2012 - Man Dies adter Police Chase in Stud Road, Dandenong
“Police said they started a pursuit after trying to stop the allegedly stolen and speeding car in Stud Rd about 3.50am.”

Add to the above with blatant speeding and alcohol and drug impaired driving, again (often but no always) involving the same gender, age and stereotyped driver. There seem to be few penalties if ‘Little Johnny’ screws up and kills a couple of mates. There is little consequence if ‘Little Johnny’ is 23 years and hasn’t held a full license, since the day he sat his driving test.

Some posts I’ve written about personal experience/exposure to the youth of today and why I’m scared for them and why I’m scared for you the road user, the public.
2010 - Why Hasn't he lost his licence yet?

2010 - Flashing Lights and Drink Drivers

2009 - Road Rules and Laws

2011 - 1 Weekend and 8 Dead on Victorian Roads

2010 - Youth and Alcohol, are we Killing our Kids

Please add your thoughts.

1 weekend and 8 dead on Victorian Roads

The weekend just past, the second weekend of November 2011, was a horrific one for the Victorian road toll.

I feel for the emergency services who had to attend the scene, I feel for the people who had to knock on the parents doors. I feel for the kids involved and I feel for the friends of these kids. Because kids are what they are.

I have a 20 year old, driving and when I was teaching her. I made sure she knew the consequences of ‘bad’ behaviour. I hope I have managed to achieve this. We were lucky, we had the opportunity for my daughter to do 200hrs of driving under her ‘L’ plates, which was all noted in her logbook.

I don’t know what the solution is, I honestly don’t.

Kids seem to think they are bullet-proof. We have the luxury of having purchased my daughters car and one of the rules of driving was that any penalty infringements received, would result in the vehicle being confiscated for 1 month PER POINT LOST. We were able to do this, because we PAID for the car and it is OUR right to enforce ANY rules we choose, if she chooses NOT to obey the road rules.

Her response was…. “you can’t do that” Our response was “Yes we can, we own the car and we can do what we please, if it means you are alive to tell your children about it, then we have succeeded.”

Two years later, no infringements have been received. I don’t care HOW we achieved the outcome, but I’d like to think that this rule and the risk of losing ‘her’ car had something to do with it.

Mid-October we witnessed an event of colossal stupidity, It occurred within 10m of our vehicle and in front of about 50 witnesses. A driver, (since disclosed to be about 25yo) did 3 donuts in the middle of a very busy intersection, just because he could. He placed himself and others in extreme danger and thought nothing of it. This same vehicle was also witnessed travelling the wrong way around a round-about some 10 minutes later. It wasn’t peer-group pressure as he was travelling alone.

So why did he do it? Because he thought he could get away with it with no consequences. 

The hoon laws only apply IF YOU get caught……………………..

Every action has a reaction, Teach your children this and perhaps we can save them, one action at a time.

My missing husband

We’ve been married for 23years this year. Rarely do we spend time apart, and if we do it may be 1-2 nights consecutively. I don’t remember a period longer than that, other than when my children were born.

I’ve spent the last week without my husband. He’s been at work and I’ve been away with my son.

The nights are the loneliest, the coldest and also the longest.

I’m also missing the conversations and just the general companionship.

I couldn’t imagine losing my husband for real. I couldn’t imagine knowing that I would never see him again. I couldn’t imagine burying him. My partner is my other half in life. He is my support, my friend, my pal and everything else that goes with the word pair.

I have been so lucky, to have a partner for 23 years, someone who is the other half of me and completes me.

What made me write this is? He called 5 minutes ago and told me that the dog doesn’t like him, as he’s done a runner (2nd time in the last week) Hubby said he’d tie an anchor to his tail next time he sees him!

For the past week, I’ve felt incomplete. Certainly lonely, both mentally and physically. Teenagers aren’t a substitute, their language skills leave a lot to be desired!

To all those that have loved and lost. I send you a cyber hug. Condolences just don’t cut it – they really don’t.

XXOO

I’ve was never so scared

**Reposted from other blog - This was natural causes, nothing Telstra could do about it, BUT.......... it shows the emotion, when vulnerable people can't be contacted by telephone.......... and the emotions that those who can't reach them suffer. Further to my blog post Saturday - How many thefts, how many deaths before telstra are made accountable? and no telephone service AGAIN

It was Thursday, the 26th November 2009, a storm warning was issued for Melbourne, I had been talking to people about a dust storm and then decided to check the BOM site for weather warnings. A storm warning had been issued, and no sooner had I sighted the warning, than it was upon us.

I rang my daughter, she is about 30km further north than where I am located and told me that she was okay but thinks the house had taken a direct lightening hit, as the door frames had turned blue and although she was shaken, she was okay. It was absolutely bucketing and windy. She was hanging up the phone to mop up the water that had entered the house. I was unsure as to how the water had entered to house. That was the least of my concerns.

I tried to ring back some 5-10 minutes later to check how everything was going and there was no answer. Tried the mobile. No answer. My heart is in my mouth. I’m sure as a parent – you are feeling worried also.

Ringing, ringing, ringing, no answer. Getting more worried as the seconds tick past. Start ringing the neighbours. No answer there either, start ringing the mobiles. No answer. I am seeing my house going up in smoke, with the neighbours trying to rescue my daughter.

I hit the panic button and ring my husband, telling him to get home NOW. There is no answer on any phones, the neighbours aren’t answering, the house was flooded. My imagination is running well and truly in overdrive.

Can’t leave work, the nation-wide servers have crashed, the phone system is down. Everyone is panicking!

Finally people from the street start calling/texting. Daughter is okay, the house is fine. 50mm of rain in 15 minutes,. Nothing could be heard apparently. Landlines are down, minor flooding, not sure about the roof, but daughter is alive.

(I had images of her, laying on the floor in a pool of water, dead)

By the time I get home, some 5 hours later, water cleaned up, roof not holed, one landline down, the other the only working one in the street. Neighbours are queuing up to use the phone to report the faults. It’s now Monday mod-morning and still no landlines, or internet.

But everyone is alive and well

(Update - phones re-instated Tuesday, apparently the lightening literally fried the wires in the ground, only left strands not bundles of wires! Still no strike site visible, but was extremely close)

$10 Meals for UNDER $10 – It CAN be done

I was just reading this article - The Age - Shonkys, the award that no company wants where it says that Coles have falsely advertised meals for under $10 for a family (I assume 4 people)

I look at the ads and see fancy food, I see Curtis Stone (who from a publics’ point of view is the people’s chef) I see food that does take some time and effort to cook, purchase the ingredients, and would be JUST on the border of costing $10 to purchase even IF you had ingredients handy.

So, you can’t just walk into the supermarket with $10, pick up one of the cards and walk out with a meal ready to serve 4 for $10 because of the condiments (which add the flavor). Here is a list of ingredients (and costs) notice the ** Coles, Feed your Family - Chicken and Madras with Steamed Basmati Rice

So you have all of this in the cupboard, including coconut milk and 8 fresh curry leaves? I’d doubt it and that is where and why people get so upset.

Yet there are meals out there that can feed a family of 4 or even 6 for under $10, with basic ingredients, with taste, flavor, texture and it’s food that the kids will eat, without any fancy preparation, AND BONUS it’s healthy!

It’s not unrealistic to expect a meal for under to feed a family of 4. I do it constantly, sometimes has meat and sometimes doesn’t. I do predominantly buy all my meat on special, so even if I didn’t need it that week I’d still buy it and either cook with it and freeze the dish OR freeze the raw product for later use.

I’m all in support of Coles, even if Choice, the consumers watchdog aren’t. The biggest problem with the $10meal promotion is that Coles expect you have coconut milk and fresh curry leaves in the cupboard, the general public is not a supermarket and often working parents don’t have the time to go to the supermarket every day, especially with it taking 5 minutes to choose the ingredients and the 15min to get through the registers.

Hint:- Don’t forget also, freeze it once, raw, freeze it once cooked. Never reheat the whole dish unless you plan on eating on the whole dish, as once it’s been cooked and then re-heated to eat once, it’s not advisable to re-heat again.

Here are some recipes that are under $10 per meal
Perfect Fettuccine
Butternut Pumpkin Soup
Pasta with Bacon

There are many more recipes like this in the Marysville Cookbook - why not have a look Marysville Cookbook Don't forget that if you do decide to buy (not compulsory) that $10 from each sale goes back to Marysville, the township devastated by the Victorian Bushfires in February 2009

My father taught me

As some of you might be aware – I lost my father recently.

I was thinking, after a conversation I had with my son about Grandpa, that my father (my sons grandfather) taught me so much and from the sounds of it my son also.

Some things were way out there, but many things have stood me in good stead over the last 40 years.

Some things my father taught me (in no order)
1. Dynamite when handled with bare hands will give you a headache!
2. A Mattress is a good blast suppressant!
3. How to ride a bike
4. How to turn off mains water supplies without cracking pipes further up the line.
5. Gravity-fed water is the best water you can have in an emergency
6. How to saddle a horse (when we finally got a saddle!)
7. How to light a wood heater
8. How to read house plans.
9. How to spell accommodation (& many others, but that has its own story)
10. How to problem solve if something wasn’t working
11. You can wrap a horses feet in hessian and stop snow ‘balling’ in the foot
12. How to fish and tie the right knots and which rigs to use for where.
13. How not to cook fish on an open fire!
14. How to steer and moor a boat.
15. How to drag a flathead home (hook & line still in place) It was bigger
than the pan (I think I was 7 or 8yo)
16. How to enjoy eating seafood.
17. How to set a rabbit trap and how to hide your smell

And so much more – how do you count in point form what you father (or mother) taught you?

I do miss my father, he used to call about 10pm at least once a week and ask for help with a computer problem. I’d always be able to fix it.

After the fires, the roles changed somewhat and I think he relied on me more and more. Help to sort out some problems with the town, contacting various people in leadership roles and I’d act on his behalf.

Then the stress of everything got to him and he had a massive stroke. Thankfully it was quick and over within minutes. For that I am grateful even if I do miss him.

Busy parents, home-made meals, how can it be done?

Having home cooked meals ready for when you get home is really easy, doesn’t even require much preparation – believe it or not.

There’s not need for it to be expensive either.

Essential ingredients:-
1 x freezer
?? x single serve or multiple serve freezer containers
WASHED potatoes (very important – the washed bit)

After that the world is your oyster

I’m the first to admit it – I’m no masterchef, even if I do have a cookbook to my name Marysville Cookbook It’s amazing what generational education can teach you. These recipes are from my grandmother and mother and some I've collected myself

Simple recipes are the key to any success in the kitchen, simple ingredients, simple instructions, little stirring, little time consuming sautéing, little standing in front of stove type recipes. That is the key to healthy home-cooked recipes for the family.

Trick Number 1 – Always cook more than you need, Freeze the left-over for meals later.
Trick Number 2 – never peel another potato again
Trick Number 3 – want roast vegies? – Cook them in the microwave (about 20min) before transferring to oven and lightly coating with Olive oil to complete the cooking.
Trick Number 4 – a slow cooker is a brilliant thing – learn to use it
Trick Number 5 –next time you need a microwave, buy one you can pre-set the start and finish times – a wonderful invention
Trick Number 6 – Saturday/Sunday when I’m doing other things around the house. I’ll cook a meal or two. Not just 1-2 servings but multiples of, soup/stews/casseroles are a wonderful thing to cook copious amounts of. You don’t have to eat them all at once. That’s what the freezer is for.
Trick Number 7 – Failures more often than not, taste the best.

The 7 steps to success (in my kitchen)

Here is my freezer, a little light on ‘stock’ but plenty of single serve meals, single serve because of family dynamics have changed and this allows for 1-2 or 5-6 quick meals to be on hand at ANY time.

Food Court Etiquette

8 out of 10 people*, don’t place their rubbish in the bin when visiting food halls in shopping centres. I am appalled that people are so lazy and dirty.

They leave the food, the scraps everything for the cleaners to pick up. I am disgusted that people think so little of others that are there to sweep the floors for the inadvertent spills, have now been turned into slaves to those too lazy to clean up their own mess.

I can’t imagine what the inside of their houses must look like. I can’t imagine what their children must think of this. They probably think it is completely normal to leave your waste for others to clean up.

I must admit I was stunned by the figures. People didn’t even think about placing the discarded packaging, food stuffs on the tray, they just left everything scattered about on the table. They were even too lazy to do that.

Is society so disrespectful and selfish of their surroundings and other people that they think they can do this?

Who will be waiting on the tables in 20 years time? It won’t be those children that walked away today. That would be too low for them. They would rather be on the dole than cleaning up other peoples’ messes. YET………… If they tidied up after themselves, there would be no need for people to clear the tables.

Are you are you a table pig or a bin user?

Would love your thoughts please!

*Witnessed by self over a period of 3 visits to 2 seperate food courts

The Meanest Mother In The World

I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others had cokes and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can guess, my supper was different than the other kids' also.

But at least, I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My sister and two brothers had the same mean mother as I did.

My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and where we were going. She insisted if we said we'd be gone an hour, that we be gone one hour or less--not one hour and one minute. I am nearly ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each time we had a mind of our own and did as we pleased. That poor belt was used more on our seats than it was to hold up Daddy's pants. Can you imagine someone actually hitting a child just because he disobeyed? Now you can begin to see how mean she really was.

We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other kids always wore their clothes for days. We reached the height of insults because she made our clothes herself, just to save money. Why, oh why, did we have to have a mother who made us feel different from our friends?

The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night and up at eight the next morning. We couldn't sleep till noon like our friends. So while they slept-my mother actually had the nerve to break the child-labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.

She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it killed us- and it nearly did.

By the time we were teen-agers, she was much wiser, and our life became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. If I spent the night with a girlfriend, can you imagine she checked on me to see if I were really there. I never had the chance to elope to Mexico. That is if I'd had a boyfriend to elope with. I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old fashioned mother refused to let me date until the age of 15 and 16. Fifteen, that is, if you dated only to go to a school function. And that was maybe twice a year.

Through the years, things didn't improve a bit. We could not lie in bed, "sick" like our friends did, and miss school. If our friends had a toe ache, a hang nail or serious ailment, they could stay home from school. Our marks in school had to be up to par. Our friends' report cards had beautiful colors on them, black for passing, red for failing. My mother being as different as she was, would settle for nothing less than ugly black marks.

As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put to shame. We were graduated from high school. With our mother behind us, talking, hitting and demanding respect, none of us was allowed the pleasure of being a drop-out.

My mother was a complete failure as a mother. Out of four children, a couple of us attained some higher education. None of us have ever been arrested, divorced or beaten his mate. Each of my brothers served his time in the service of this country. And whom do we have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? You're right, our mean mother. Look at the things we missed. We never got to march in a protest parade, nor to take part in a riot, burn draft cards, and a million and one other things that our friends did. She forced us to grow up into God-fearing, educated, honest adults.

Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my three children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean. Because, you see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world.

Copyright© 1967 by Bobbie Pingaro

The Quest for a Name in the Year 2010.

This post has been brewing for weeks – along with the post “The Quest for a Name in 1940.”

I realized that we could possibly be in real trouble with surnames and feminism and finding ones-self.

Look – I’m all for people knowing their roots, I’m all for people being individuals, I’m all for people wishing to keep their fathers’ names if they are the only offspring.

But it is getting ridiculous.

Let’s set another scenario and tell me what you think.

Person Jones, is the sole remaining child, and when she gets married she’s wants the name Jones to live on forever. Easy she’ll just hyphenate the name.

Person Jones marries Nguyen, and happily ever after she is known as Jones-Nguyen, until 7 years later when the divorce comes through.

Person Jones-Nguyen keeps the name Jones-Nguyen because is sounds a little better than just plain old Jones. Child Jones-Nguyen has no real choice in the matter.

Person Jones-Nguyen meets her new future husband, who we shall call Lee.

Person Jones-Nguyen married person Lee and can’t see the sense in changing her name to Lee, as that would mean Child Jones-Nguyen has a different name to mum. So person Jones-Nguyen just tacks on another name, Person Jones-Nguyen is now known as Person Jones-Nguyen-Lee.

A child is born – he takes the name of his mother and father, so we have child Jones-Nguyen-Lee. What a handful you say.

This has all happened over 2 generations, what about the 3rd, 4th or 5th generation, are people still going to be insisting on continuing on with this madness?

Where will it end? – 20,30,40 years ago, you married, you took your husbands name out of respect for the marriage and your husband. Now it seems it’s a free for all.

What scares me, is this freedom of choice is destroying our roots, our ancestry, our history and more importantly our identity?

Do you have a hyphenated name?

What do you think your children will do when they marry? – will they change their name to their husbands, or hyphenate their name?

Your thoughts – now remember; please, I’m married because I CHOSE TO marry, perhaps you are not married and living in a long-term defacto relationship. I don’t care, but don’t make this a slanging match about marriage or other relationships– this is ONLY about surnames and identity.

The Quest for a Name in the Year 1940.

This post has been brewing for weeks – ever since I spoke to my neighbour who is tracing their family tree, going back to the 1940’s and early.

For her, it started when she received a phone call from a long lost cousin doing exactly the same thing. So let the story begin.

Let’s go back to the 1940’s just after the war – in rural Victoria, Australia.

Mother Jones, married Father Smith, Mother Jones is now known as Mother Smith to the town. A child is born and named Child Smith.

Father Smith leaves, never to be seen again. Mother Smith (nee Jones) remains Mother Smith until stepfather Burke, steps up to the plate. As Mother Smith (nee Jones) has never divorced Father Smith and the general public don’t know. Mother Smith, is now known as Mother Burke as she takes the name of Stepfather Burke and child Smith is now known as Child Burke.

Is any of this making sense?

Until a passport was required child Burke had no idea. When the documentation was sighted – it raised all sorts of questions. And Child Burke went on a quest.

Child Burke, approaches Mother Burke (nee Jones) and asks for an explanation. Mother Burke (nee Jones) explains that her real name is Mother Smith (nee Jones), and the Child Burke’s name is really Child Smith and the reason why is; Mother Burke (nee Jones) never divorced Father Smith. So she couldn’t change her name. But she couldn’t live in sin, so for all intents and purposes she changed her name and Child Burke’s name to match Father Burke’s name.

Child Burke/Smith is now wondering who he really is. In the end he bites the bullet and changes his name by deed-poll to Child Jones, since he never knew his ‘real’ father and since he wasn’t related to Father Burke, and Mother Smith (nee Jones) was still living as Mother Burke. His only connection with any name was Child Jones.

The world we create can be very complicated sometimes!

(and this is a real life story!)

Youth and Alcohol – Are We Killing Our Kids?

Today I hear the news that a 21yo male has been fired from his job, not because he couldn’t do the job, not because he couldn’t follow workplace rules but because he couldn’t get out of bed to attend work, not because he was sick with the flu, but because he had alcohol poisoning.

This is not the first time this has occurred, nor the second, nor the third. It happens EVERY Monday and often Tuesday as well.

This child (because he acts likes one) can not function without alcohol. He has had his license suspended, he has an interlock fitted on his car. He has been in for a review to get the interlock device removed and has failed. He was setting if off almost every day in the morning, which shows he drank every night and possibly to excess to set the interlock off every morning.

This kid effectively worked only 3 days a week, although meant to be working 5-6 days with on-call work every 4 weeks. The on call work was never attended – he would just turn his phone off.

He is one case in 1000’s just in Melbourne alone. I’m not sure what causes children to run off the rails and hit the bottle (Because that is what’s happening) but here are some theories, bought to you by the links provided.

From:- Youth Central Vic Government
Mr Munro says 80% of Australians drink, and as a general rule of thumb 10% of drinkers are alcohol dependent. However, he points to research reported by Professor Jake Najman at the 2008 Australasian Professional Society on Alcohol and other Drugs Conference, from the University of Queensland, who argues that of the 80% of Australians who drink, 30% are impaired in one way or another from drinking.
Impairment may range from not being able to fulfil social responsibilities like going to work or family events. The problem is a lot more widespread than previously thought. "Because drinking is so widespread and common in Australia, many people don't see it as a sign of alcohol dependency," Mr Munro says. "But dependency on alcohol can lead to work problems, drink driving, financial stress, accidents and conflict within the family which could even trigger the breakup of a family."

Salvation Army
Statistics now show alcohol accounts for 13% of all deaths of 14-17 year olds in Australia with one teenager dying each week of alcohol related causes and another 60 teenagers hospitalised.
The new (2009) Roy Morgan research also shows:
1.7 million Australians believe it’s safe to give someone 12 or under an occasional sip of alcohol.
5 million Australians believe it is safe for someone 15 years or under to be given occasional sips of alcohol.
7 million Australians had their first alcoholic sip or drink in their home.
8.8 million Australians had their first alcoholic sip or drink when they were with their family.
7.8 million Australians suggested they should have their first drink or sip of alcohol themselves; 2.9 million said parents suggested it.

Journalism Australia
A 2003 alcohol awareness survey by the Salvation Army found the age at which people start drinking is getting younger with 58% of 14-17 year olds drinking before 14, compared to their parents of which 25 per cent started before they were 14.
The survey found 22% of 14-17-year-old girls regularly drink between 13 and 30 drinks a session, compared with 19% of 14-17-year-old boys. The main reason both groups drank was to fit in at social activities.
Former information manager at the National Drug and Alcohol Research Centre Paul Dillion told the Sydney Morning Herald in 2002 many school children drank “to get out of it, to get wasted”, with Australia being one of the few countries where binge drinking was viewed as acceptable.
“Parents see alcohol use as a protective factor against other drug use,” Mr Dillon said.
“But in reality the only drug problem most will experience with their child will be alcohol.”
This problem also spans to other countries. A study in the UK has been following over 11,000 people since birth. The study found those who participated in binge drinking at 16 were more likely to have had an alcohol dependence, criminal conviction, left school early, have limited qualifications, earn less and had mental health problems at the age of 30, than those 16yo who did not binge drink

The Natural Health Expert
From a somewhat different viewpoint, since both parents in quite a few families work full or part-time, the lack of parental guidance unquestionably has to play a primary role in the expansion of teenage alcohol abuse. And as a final point, diverse alcohol addiction experts emphasize the point that the proliferation of youth alcohol abuse is due, to some extent, to our “anything goes” society.

I don’t pretend to be an expert – hell I’ve got an 18yo girl and keeping track of her and on the straight and narrow is hard enough, without adding alcohol to the mix.

I suppose as a family we are lucky – we eat together, often play together and our children see that we don’t drink very often, only on special occasions, we don’t drink as a habit, occasionally we might drink with friends, but no more than 1-2 glasses in one sitting, we don’t need to drink to have a good time, to be able to socialize. We’ve always been that way.

I watch some adults, 30yo plus and they quantity of alcohol they do consume in one sitting and cringe, not just because of the health implications, but if they really need THAT much alcohol to socialise and be nice, there HAS to be a problem.

I watch pregnant women, drink champagne with ice-cubes in it, because they aren’t meant to be drinking, but a little bit won’t hurt, will it?

I watched grown men complain because the wine isn’t to their liking and there’s nothing else to drink. Ummmm there is tap right over there, Melbourne has the best drinking water in the world. Besides that I’m drinking coke, would you like some? And there is orange juice in the fridge.

I’ve seen grown men and women go out for dinner and get blotto, without thought for how they are getting home, and then count the drinks to figure out who drank less and who will be better off driving!

There is something wrong, if the children see this behavior of course they are going to think that drinking copious amounts of alcohol on a daily basis, is normal and they too can do it. Mum and dad won’t notice a bottle missing, it’s cool to be like an adult.

WRONG – children under the age of 21, should NOT be drinking, it can damage their brains, their development and social skills. It has been proven that children <15yo>21yo or older. The more alcohol is consumes the greater chance of alcohol-related problems in later life, including alcohol addiction. Different parts of the brain develop at different ages for different genders. The part of the brain that controls rational thinking matures at different ages in men and women. In women this may not fully mature until 21yo or older. In males it does not fully mature until 28years of age. This can affect memory, personality and behavior. In other words PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE can result in drinking ANYTHING before the age of 21 in either sex.

Do not be fooled into thinking one drink is okay. One dose of illegal drugs is not okay, one cigarette is not okay – why should alcohol be any different?

And from a paramedics point of view:- "We see children or young people who are basically unconscious," he said. We've seen people that can basically vomit left laying on their back and consequently have issues with choking, brain damage”

Is this what you wish for your children? I don’t think so – I certainly hope not. Remember alcohol might make you feel better and confident, but is your sense of bravado killing your children?

Think about it before you pick up that drink tonight, or tomorrow night or the night after. Talk to your children about the dangers of alcohol, it’s not the schools job not the governments job to raise your children IT’S YOUR job. It takes two to tango.

Out of the closet

I’ve been hiding in the closet – I’ve not told you who I am, most of you don’t know my gender, anything about my career, my family and I’ve been happy to keep it that way. This is because previously I've been hated for what I say, but I have come to the realisation that if the truth hurts, then you are the one with the problem, not me.

I have come to the conclusion that I can no longer keep my online identity hidden without people distrusting me.

I’m aware that there are many fakes in both the real world and on the ‘net, I can assure you I am as real as they come in both worlds. What you see is what you get with me. I don’t hide behind a screen and keyboard, I don’t hide behind false words or faces. That is not who or what I am.

I am responsible for many things in my life, from a happy marriage of 22 years and 2 beautiful children, to a haphazard but happy working life.

I am also wholly and solely responsible for itaintalwaysso and Marysvillecookbook blogspot and also The Marysville Cookbook - with no external input from anyone or anything on any printed word.

The last 12 months has seen many changes in my life, from the devastation and destruction of Marysville, where I grew up and went to school. To the death of my father, 12 months after the Black Saturday fires.

But that is not why I am coming out of the closet so speak.

My name is Heather, I live north of Melbourne in a rural setting and I enjoy who and what I am, and what I have become as I’ve grown up.

Noting that as someone said recently – growing up doesn’t mean a mortgage and kids, it means being happy with who and what you are. And I am

So there you have it – I’ve come out of the closet.

L is for learning, P is for Practice

Well that’s what I thought this meant when displayed on a vehicles front and rear windows. Until now. Last week, I saw a bronze Mazda, travelling south on Merriang Road, tailgating, speeding, applying make-up AND talking on the mobile, all whilst displaying P plates!

Alright, multi-tasking to the extreme, but let’s look at this closely.

P Plater – needs all their concentration just to drive the vehicle

Tailgating – did not pull back when the vehicle in front applied the brakes, nearly up their clacker

Speeding – the speed limit has just been reduced, yet maintained the old speed of 100kph

Make-up – as soon as the traffic slowed down to 10kpm, the mascara comes out

Mobile Phone – the mascara brush goes down and the phone goes up

FFS – no wonder our kids are being killed left right and centre on Australian Roads, either they don’t care or their parents haven’t drummed into them the importance of driving and single concentration.

It was two weeks ago – that a major newspaper showed that 75% of drivers failed to see the clown on a unicycle whilst talking on a mobile phone and they are experienced drivers!

I keep coming back to the same thing – and that is that my daughter has already been threatened with loss of vehicle either permanently or temporarily depending on what punishment is dished out by the law. We figure license suspension – lose vehicle; demerit point loss – 1 month per point. To disable the car is as simple as applying a steering wheel lock and or removing 1-2 tyres and placing on blocks. Something I am quite capable of doing by myself.

The reason for this is that we own ½ of the car, in that we are paying for 50% of said vehicle, she pays the other 50% and registration AND insurance – so we have the power to disable/sell the car if we choose to due to a poor driving record and don’t think I won’t.

I would rather her walking and alive then driving and dead and if that means a sullen attitude for next couple of months/years then so be it – she can’t afford to buy a car without our funding assistance.

The animals went in two by two

The animals went in two by two, hurrah! hurrah!

The animals went in two by two, hurrah! hurrah!

The animals went in two by two, the elephant and the kangaroo.

And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

Today being the first day of school holidays, 7th Dec 2009 (lucky me) My second born finished school 2 weeks earlier than other schools.

Anyway – almost Ms18 – decided to treat him (at my expense) and take him to the zoo and said that if he misbehaved she would handcuff him to a monkey and if that didn’t work – would throw him to the lions!

By 11am – there were still no tears and no misbehaving. Mstr12 is saying the whole day is great, and Ms18 said it was easy getting to the zoo on public transport.

Just received a phone call from Mstr12 – can I delete some of the photos off my memory card? – Ummmm, what photos? The ones I took last holidays. How much room do you have on the memory card? – Oh 343 more pictures! – FFS – talk about putting the cart before the horse.

All’s quiet at 2.30pm – fingers crossed Ms18 hasn’t fed Mstr12 to the lions!

The train ride home saw a grown man offer Mstr12 some lollies, Ms18 went off her rocker. I’m sorry but in this world of rock spiders and similar, a grown man can’t go doing that on public transport, it’s just so wrong. I know – I am becoming untrusting, but seriously………….Mstr12 looks younger than his years and is quite petite for a boy. Makes you wonder.

Besides that – the day was a great successful and two children (yes Ms18 is still my child) had a wonderful time.

The weather is somewhat changed today – wet and raining – but surprisingly not cold! – Thanks for the good show Melbourne.

A Story about getting on in life

In 1998 I was involved in a rather serious car accident, one that the only thing which stopped the car from exploding was the spare tyre that was punctured rather than the gas tank exploding.

I had been on the way to work – a reasonably new job of 3 months, I took 1 day off work to sort all the insurance out and report the accident to the police and go see the doctor.

For 8 years, I fought to keep a job, (where I was working forced me out - I should have sued, but it was all too much), I fought to keep my family together, my sanity and my house. We weren’t entitled to any government assistance due to issues with a failing business, TAC refused to pay any income support because my husband should have been able to help me home, not someone from the TAC. I told them time and time again, that he couldn’t leave apprentices in the factory – due to workcover regulations that could see him locked up in jail if the apprentices did something stupid – he would automatically get the blame.

So we struggled, we struggled to keep food on the table, we struggled to stay sane. We lived in a pigsty, because my back was too sore and I was too tired to do any housework, when I got home from paid work. I couldn’t lift my children. I had to work to pay the child care fees, because TAC wouldn’t pay the fees, and I couldn’t stay home AND afford to send the children to childcare. I barely had enough money to put food on the table. Work was the lesser of two evils.

I remember once asking the CES for $5-$10 so I could buy some potatoes (It’s amazing what you can do with potatoes) and they turned me away – I’ve never begged in my life – I didn’t know where to turn. We went hungry that night.

Things eased slightly when my youngest went to school. Still no permanent work – but at least no child care fees and people looked after me – loaned me money for work yet to be done, found me work. ‘Real’ employers didn’t want someone who couldn’t use their right arm sometimes, or walked with a limp.

Until recently, I didn’t have a permanent job – and I believe that was because of my disabilities.

Some 6 years later, just when I was starting to get my life back on track, another near fatal accident, which broke and crushed my leg. To this day the fibula is still broken.

Finally things started looking up – the bills get paid on time – the mortgage is paid up and beyond, finally we no longer need to scrimp and save just to have clothes and shoes to wear.

With perseverance I’ve come to realise that life is for living – I’ve had too many close calls not to realise this

You can move on – it takes time – it takes patience and most of all strength of character to succeed where others often fail.

Life is precious, family even more so and if you take one thing away from reading this – it is “Life continues with or without you, so make sure you are included, not excluded.”

The Day We Buried Our Father

The weather could not have put on a better show. It wasn’t cold, it wasn’t windy – in fact a perfect day for anything but a burial and funeral.

We left home at the required time to get to the location of the burial and funeral in plenty of time, even allowing for minor traffic hold-ups.

We did NOT consider the possibility of a major road being shut down completely for 45minutes or more. I don’t think anyone does – not even funeral directors.

45 minutes from the cemetery a log truck goes over the edge of the road and blocks the traffic in BOTH directions. Who could believe it? – Certainly not us and most certainly not the guy in front of us who stormed out of the car and threw his phone at me and said please make it work, it’s new and I HAVE TO phone some people, they are expecting me in 60 minutes.

This guy was dressed in a checked shirt and jeans (with his fly down) I don’t know what made me notice that! I made the phone work and he dialled the number while standing in the middle of the road. He seemed panicked – but then again – so was I. I was trying to contact my daughter and my mother. My daughter somewhere behind me and my mother, waiting for us to arrive, so my father could be laid to rest.

Suddenly I realised that the guy standing beside me was trying to contact my mother. I put two and two together and figured out this guy was connected to the funeral parlour and he was explaining that there was a delay. He finished his call, and I interrupted explaining who we were. He realised that we could all be late. The hearse was behind him somewhere and no-one was going anywhere very soon.

He told me to ring my daughter and tell her to pull up on the side of the road and wait for the hearse, and then pull in tightly behind him, he would get the 4 of us through regardless of everyone else.

He walked ahead of the cars and obviously arranged something. I’m not sure how, but before I knew it, the traffic was moving and we cleared the accident and he pulled over, so did too. I was hoping that my daughter had done as instructed. No sooner had we pulled over than the hearse AND my daughter pulled in behind us.

It turns out the road block allowed traffic through until the hearse and the white car had passed and then the road was shut down again.

We proceeded through to town, of the cars that got through the road block all except 4 of those cars had the same destination in mind.

The burial took place on time, at the end of the ceremony and as people were paying their last respects a noise was heard. It sounded like rocks being thrown into the grave. Turns out it was gentleman, who often played cards with my father and apparently the last time they had played cards (before the fire) a debt of copper coins was owed. He had repaid the debt! – I suppose stranger things have happened.

The service went as planned, the number of people predicted turned up and then some. There were no more glitches, thankfully. The day was a day of reminiscing and reunions. The number of people I had not seen for many years were numerous, all saying thank-you for stopping the evacuation, saying thank-you for the cookbook and saying thank-you for having a father who cared enough to stay and help in their time of need.

I was also told that I am already filling the shoes of my father, I’m sure that is a compliment, but it is very tiring, and I am not sure I want to tread in the shoes of my father. He was brilliant at everything he touched, I’m only a beginner. I have many years of learning ahead of me.

Dear dad – the memorial service did you proud, there was plenty of food and if you had been arranging it – you would not have changed a thing!

XXOO

My Father, in Loving Memory

31.10.1936 – 05.03.10

My father is gone, My father is dead.

It was quick, perhaps too quick. He went to bed, he slept for a bit, he got up, he went back to bed, It sounded like he was having a nightmare, maybe 30 seconds, by the time the light was turned on he was gone.

So simple. The towns on-call medical person came, he did his upmost. The ambulance came, they did their best.

He was gone. Perhaps a god-send. We don’t know the cause, perhaps we never will.

I am glad it was so quick. To be trapped in a body that didn’t work and to have a mind fully-functional, I could only imagine as being a living death.

I am going to miss him, my children will miss him. My mother will miss him. There will always be an empty place at the table.

My father enjoyed his food. I knew he wasn’t well on Sunday when he refused his favourite, Spotted Dog (bread and butter pudding with sultanas) with oodles of cream. In fact he didn’t eat well at all, but that is not unusual. No-one thought much of it – everyone is allowed an ‘off’ day once in a while.

Looking back over the week, I think he knew, add the information I knew with the information that people told me when I made the dreaded phone-calls, added up to he KNEW. HE KNEW something was wrong.

He had started visiting extended family, long lost relatives. People he had perhaps not spoken to in decades. Looking back it should have been a sign. But you don’t put two and two together until after the fact.

18 hours ago, I received THE call. 18 hours later I feel nothing. No emotion, just black, almost blank inside. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be feeling or even if.

The last 12 months of his life have probably been the hardest of his entire life. His health was as good as could be expected for his age, but he lost over 30 people in one dreadful night, he lost his town, he lost everything he had known for 40 years. I think it broke his heart, I think it broke his soul.

My father came to the big smoke to finish his education, he met my mother, he married my mother. He owned and ran a business. He opted for a tree-change and moved into a small milling town. He ran the mill office, my mother ran the small holiday accommodation business they set up. He ‘retired’ from the mill to concentrate on the accommodation business, which my parents ran together for almost 25 years. They sold that business barely 12 months before the fires destroyed it for them. They were starting to enjoy life, take holidays and being S.K.I.’s (Good on them I say!, they worked for it)

Both my parents were an integral part of the community. My father played a major part in establishing the town water supply, the sewerage system, the tourism board. He maintained the water supply and the associated quality checks. Many nights he was called out to repair broken mains and would come home early in the morning, covered in red mud from the armpits down. He was trustee for the cemetery and buried many of the people who were lost in the fires. He was part of the community, the community a part of him. When the community was destroyed, a large part of him was also destroyed.

I may not have had a chance to say good-bye – But I am thankful he didn’t suffer.

And…………….. now the tears start.

**Kiss & Hug those you love,**

**because tomorrow you may not have the chance**

Yes I poured my heart out and now I can feel the pain – It does help to talk – even if to a piece of paper.

XXOO

Big Dog, Little Dog, Sad, Dog, Vicious Dog, Dead Dog

I am not even going to pretend I know what it’s like to be mauled by a dog – I am sorry for those that are affected.

Please don’t blame the breed of dog, blame the dog, blame the owner, BUT not the breed as a whole.

I had a Rottweiler when my first child was born. People said I would have to get rid of the dog because she (the dog) would get jealous and hurt my first born.

No – I refused to get rid of Rottweiler, instead I made an effort to incorporate that dog along with my baby into the family unit. I had my Rottweiler for a total of 14 years of which 8 years she lived side-by-side with my daughter, protected her, guarded her, pulled her pram and helped me around the house. (The dog, not the child)

The dog was known to bark when my daughter was getting up to no good, the dog would not permit people near the pram when the child was in the pram. The dog would sit between myself and the person I was having a conversation with and play verbal tennis. Her head would go from speaker to speaker, listening/watching the people and the conversation.

This dog was truly a member of the family, she was socialized, she was well-adjusted, she was loved and most of all she loved.

Dogs, just like children need discipline. Dogs need to know that you are the master. Once the pecking order has been established, they understand where they stand in their ‘society’ as they see it.

Dogs, just like people, have the good, the bad and ugly. The causes could be upbringing, genetics, all sorts of events that can cause trauma. Sometimes a dog will instinctively try and protect itself, not mean any harm but do harm inadvertently.

Other times a dog will just lose the plot, just like humans; again, genetics, upbringing, illness, old age.

Children SHOULD NEVER be left alone with a dog of ANY size, I’ve been attacked by terriers and poodles, yet have not been attacked by Rottweilers, Ridgebacks or German Shepherds. Often this is because the owners of large dogs acknowledge their responsibility in that owning a big dog requires that dog to be disciplined and controlled at all times.

Often you will find that dogs which do attack, are dogs that belong to young males, who ‘rough’ them up for a bit of fun, teach them to attack cats and similar small animals, simply for the thrill of controlling another animal.

These dogs are often un-socialised and allowed to rot in the backyard until it is time for some entertainment by the owner.

Dogs do get jealous, dogs do get lonely, dogs do feel pain, dogs do feel panic, dogs do feel aggression. They may not be able to express these feelings and many people can’t read these feelings in animals, but they do feel them and often display these with ear movements, tail location and even lip movements.

It is not the dogs fault as a general rule – more often than not, it is a human’s fault, for allowing unsuitable dogs to breed OR not socializing animals, or not integrating them into the new family properly.

All non-breeding animals should be de-sexed, it should be compulsory for all dog owners to get a license, something like a drivers license, to permit the ownership of animals, and if an animal kills another animal or human, then the dog should be euthanized immediately. No court rooms, no argument, If your dog kills, due to your lack of care and responsibility then you and the dog are punished. Then IF the owner of the dog can be located, they are banned from owning a dog for 10 years and the ‘license’ revoked, pending a new application in 10 years time.

These thoughts and ideas are mine alone, but sometimes, once again, common sense needs to be re-introduced into society. Without common sense, many things go wrong which could cause devestation to a family.

Take care.

Where are all the Nanna’s and Grandpas?

Hubby and I were talking last night. A topic came up that made me realize that perhaps some of the current problems with our youth and in the family unit tied back to the age of the parents and grandparents and thus the passing on of these generations before the children are born.

Let's look at some numbers:-


Once upon a time it was extremely common for nanna, grandpa, mum and dad and children to all live nearby even under the same roof and sometimes even great nan and gramps. Which is four generations of family close by and three different generations to help with the upbringing of the next generation.

Now more often than not, there are no great nans and gramps and even nanna and grandpa have passed away. Leaving only the two of you and any off-spring. Which in turn leaves no-one to assist with discipline.

Is the increasing age of parents and marriage causing all the problems we are having with our youth currently??

Is the need to have everything and be ‘me’ before marriage killing our children and possibly the human race?