Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Are you Dead?

Weird question……. Hell I’m a weird person, so I suppose it’s normal for me to have weird questions.

I always worry when people disappear from my digital life, they come, they make an impression, (or you wouldn’t be worrying about them) and they go. Not in the, I hate you, I don’t agree with you way ………… but just *POOF* gone and it makes me worry.

People say why worry? I worry! Just because it may be someone I’ve never met In Real Life (IRL) but someone I’ve met through a computer screen. They are real people even if some say it’s not like these people are your friends. I consider them a friend, the only difference is they are a digital friend – I may not share what I do with IRL friends, but you still share a little bit of you every time you communicate.

One memorable case for me, someone had obviously got sick of social networking, so they posted

‘It's not you, it's me. 999 days together (that went quick!) but I need a break. If you need me, you know where to find me.”

Now this works for me, it tells me they are okay (well you hope so) and that perhaps they’ll be back, perhaps they won’t, but at least you know they are okay.

Whilst writing this blog post – I realised that someone else has gone and done the *POOF* thing. It wasn’t until I asked others that I found a website etc.

Because 90% of my work (and my relaxation) time is computer orientated, I use social networking like the proverbial water cooler and will often pop in and talk to a variety of people, the conversations often aren’t very deep, but they are enough to make someone smile or laugh and that could be the highlight of someone’s day.

For me social networking is not just about advertising oneself (which I rarely do) It’s not about spamming the people you talk to. It’s about communicating with people who have similar interests, worries, concerns or even just strange animals! (Yup, animals can define who you are too!)

So next time you take a hiatus from social networking, let someone know, if you decide to change your name, let people know also – it may seem a small thing for you – but some people do care. Perhaps you run a business and use your business name as your name on social networking – suddenly, you can no longer be traced. (That’s not a good business practice!)

Someone sitting behind a computer a screen does care, even if sometimes it appears they don’t.

Enjoy the day and remember treat others as you wish to be treated!


  1. Very well said! And I agree with every point made here. I'm a worrier too

  2. It just seems to be how it is. People come, you form an attachment, and they go. I've learnt. They move on. I stay. Bloggers of the past pop into my head at times. Just wondering what they are now doing.

  3. Cheryl, as I said - some people say why worry.............. I just do - I mean they are people after all, they have feelings, they have klifes, they have family, they have health and ill-health. You hope they are okay - I suppose I don't like the suddeness of it all

    Andrew - Wouldn't it be nice if you knew that they intended to abandon the blog, the profile, social media? Wouldn't you like to know that at least when they deliberately moved away from whatever media that they were okay?

    The other avenue is........ has modern society laid claim to the abandon without guilt, where you can just walk away and have no fear that others may actually be waorried about you, even if you've never met them?

    Is society so disposable that friendships both IRL and 'net are just throw away, temporary fill-ins in your life until someone/something better comes along?

    I wonder....................

  4. You can't take the internet too personally.
    Lots and lots of people leave because the internet starts to consume their lives.
    You may like someone a lot but they might not feel the same as you.

    You have to enter into it knowing this may happen.

  5. I think it's making it to personal to say... temporary fill-ins in your life until someone/something better comes along?

    The truth is people leave blogging and social networking sites for many reasons - the most common I know of, is that too much time is being taken out of their lives, someone has found them they didn't want to find, work has found out about it and there's a risk with that, the novelty has worn off from using the site, some other site becomes popular to use.

    Internet friendships are more disposable but it's rarely for the same reasons as real life friendships break down.

  6. Sometimes you just have to go and go now

  7. Anon1 - agreed, but doesn;t common courtesy at least mean you should tell those that you 'talk' with often that you are opting out temp/forver? Or has common courtesy gone the way of common sense and manners?

    Anon2 - agreed - internet friendships do tend to be more dispoable - but that doesn't make them less important. People still do care. People still can be concerned for you and you your welfare. I just wonder if the internet is mirroring what we see in society and the less caring bit that everyone hates, yet is so willing to participate in?

    Kelly - agreed - you do sometimes just HAVE to go for whatever reason - but to just drop from internet society, without forewarning, doesn;t that reflect that way people also probably behave in real life, therefore making real life less believable and makes you feel less like participating?

    In other words - have the habits of the internet infringed upon the real world?

  8. I left twitter. Many friends missed the post because they were following too many to notice it.

    And that was the reason I left. Because my account had become too busy and I wanted to start again with something a whole lot easier to manage and more personal.

  9. Anon3 - if your last post was a goodbye post (as illustrated above) then you have nothing to lose.

    If you just deleted your account - then that in itself is abandonment of those that may have cared about you.

    I just wonder if (as stated previously) if society is becoming more disposable, not just 'things' but friendships IRL or on the 'net.

    Thanks for taking the time to comment!

  10. I wrote a goodbye. But many sent messages, long after, asking where I was.
    Their time lines are too busy to notice I had gone.
    On the otherhand, some missed the post but noticed my absense immediately and made an effor to find me.
    I bought those people to my new and smaller account where I am much happier now. That's just me.

    I don't think this is a reflection of society being disposable - that's a generalisation. I just think some people are vocal about their commitment to friendship and don't deliver in a physical way. We all know real life people like that. And the internet makes it easier for them to sound like friends but not act like it.

    But that's not everyone. And I think my experience shows that.

  11. If i leave my twitter account I will send a message to all the followers who have shown an interest in what I have tweeted in the past. The people who dont just wait for me to reply to them but reply to me and show an interest in me too.

    Everyone else I won't tell. Why should I? If they have never showed an interest in anything else I said in the past then I don't think they deserve a goodbye when I leave

  12. And that is what I'm referring to, there has been another abandonment of Twitter, and they advised people via a tweet - now that is 'acceptable' means you haven't dropped off the edge of the planet..... and from what you're saying you'd do the same thing - I don't classify that as dead/alive, that's a "I need a break and I MIGHT be back

    That's manners, that's caring for those that take the time to talk to you.

    Not plain out abandonment.

    BIG difference!