Thursday, January 14, 2010

Give Me The gun or Take Your Chances With Me

I’m an idiot, what else can I say?

I'm minding my own business, doing my own business when I hear 1, no 2, better make that 3 gunshots.

SHIT – the dog is going nuts – I’m babysitting 3 x houses in the street, 2 with dogs, I instantly think some loon has taking a dislike to one of the dogs, the shape of valley makes it sound like that

4 shots, what the F**** is going on?

I grab my phone and car keys – nearly driving the car out THROUGH the roller door.

5 shots – F*** who is killing what? No roo, the unfortunate result of meeting a car, would require that many shots – unless you were as pissed as a parakeet and kept missing

Who the hell is shooting a BIG gun in our street?

Race down the drive, I can see lights on in most houses,, nothing unsual, I stop the car, I can hear raised voices.

Ch**** Domestic violence on OUR street? – the street where there might be some problems, but nothing THAT BAD

Down our street, up into the next, most outside lights on with people on the porch, on house stands out as NOT having the porch light on, something is up.

I pull in there, knock on the door, the door is answered by the lady of the house, she is shaking and I’m thinking I’m an absolute idiot, turn around NOW

But stupid me……………… I invited myself in. Asking at the same time, “what is going on?”

She fills me in – apparently the neighbour has been threatening the man of the house and threatening his dog – YOU NEVER EVER threat the dog, ANYWHERE

The man of the house comes inside, I tell him to lock the gun up NOW, thankfully he complies. Then sit down and assess the situation, the police WILL TURN up, it’s just a matter of time.

Went through the story, and just before I cleared out, the police turn up. The police turn up – full body kits, mace, side arms – you name it – they must have been expecting a gun fight.

Their radio is going nuts with reports – I knew it was only a matter of time.

Once I could make my escape I did, but the next person to draw (and fire) a gun near me – will find themselves having to deal with me and my walking stick.

I’m not anti-guns, just guns and booze and arguments always cause problems.

Guns have their place, but not in the hands of people who have a tendency to drink too much or have a temper.

I’ve fire a gun in defence of my animals, I’ve fired a gun to humanely destroy animals when needed. That is what you have to do sometimes living in the country. I just don’t like guns when close to houses and with alcohol.

Enjoy the life you have – you only have one!

Post-script - said neighbour came to my door this morning (Friday) and apologised for his behaviour - I hope he apologised to everyone else in the street also


  1. Gripping stuff, You! I was through it in a flash - always the sign of good writing. You made your point without carping and I caught a glimpse of the other side of treechange paradise. Keep 'em coming! P. :)

  2. I will - I will hit you with my walking stick! - as for the story - it's as it it - as it flows - and there you have it - A little like an egg - just happens - not sure how!
    Thanks for the comment Paul - appreciated!