Heaving in the Kitchen

What else can I say? – It was disgusting. I was about to prepare dinner, caramelised vegetables with Schnitzel and I went to retrieve the potatoes from the bottom of the cupboard.

The first thing that hit me was the smell – I mean a vile wafting smell that took on a life of its’ own and tried to possess the house.

OMG – I didn’t know what it was – I removed the ½ bag of potatoes, nothing there – I then bent down to remove the second bag of potatoes and nearly vomited.

Stuff like vile bile (it was yellow in colour) was leeching through the plastic bag and the smell – I raced outside dry retching – expecting to be dry for not very long.

I braved a re-entry and raced for the bathroom – grabbed an armful of towels and holding my nose, I bent towards the seething stinking vile mess and grabbed the bag of potatoes, and put them on a towel and heaved them outside.

Hubby heard me dry-retching and wanted to know what the problem was. My response ”the bottom of my cupboard is a vile smelling stench filled shithole” He couldn’t figure out what I was ranting about, so came inside to see, and he too was beaten back by the stench.

I grabbed the Glen 20 and liberally applied before attempting a further re-entry.

Re-entry achieved, the smell covered as best as was possible. The items from said cupboard removed and placed on another towel to be assessed for keepability or disposal.

All food stuffs need to be inspected to determine if safe to consume, if safe, they needed to be washed and put somewhere else.

The whole cause of this vile mess was a leaking water filter (that hubby had known about for weeks), he showed so much concern he actually neatly folded a towel UNDER the said leak and proceeded to re-stack the cans on the towel. FFS!

I also forgot to mention that every morning he enters the cupboard to retrieve his cornflakes. Why the hell didn’t he smell it?

I can’t understand men – and…….. if you are asking WHY I haven’t investigated the cupboard before now – we have been living on party food, left-overs and dining out, all part of Christmas.

Men……………… need I say more?