Monday, October 12, 2009

Kids and Discipline

I love my children, I would like to think they are the best out there – we all want to think that – we all wish for that.

The difference between my children and the next is often only in the beholders eyes.

I would like to think my children are perfect, but in my heart I know they are not.

I would like to think my children can do no wrong – but that is not possible

Every child and every adult on this planet has faults, that is human nature.

Often I find that children that are classified as troublemakers or similar, aren’t necessarily bad at heart, they are just confused. They receive mixed messages from home, from school from someone they look up to.

One of the worst things a parent can do is contradict the school and the teachers. An example of this was a child that didn’t wear his blazer, school policy requires that he wear a blazer, when in school uniform off the premises. That was a condition of attending the school. The child was subsequently caught NOT wearing said blazer and received a detention. The parent decided that it was only a small ‘infringement’ and the child shouldn’t have to do the detention. This causes two problems. The first being that school knows nothing and rule breaking is no big deal, the second is that the parent shows the child that rules can be broken and it’s okay.

I disagree completely with this attitude, if my child decided not to wear his blazer (different school, same policy) I have asked him to consider how he is getting home after the detention (we live 25km from the school and 7km from public transport). My thoughts being that if he chooses to break the rules, he can sort out the consequences and repercussions of such behavior. 12 months in and still no detention for not wearing his blazer, which indicates one of two things, either he is wearing his blazer OR he hasn’t been caught yet.

Another example, was my darling daughter, you have met her before, was caught wagging, she received 3 lunchtime detentions and I had to sign a note indicating that I was aware of this. I signed the note and then added please double said punishment. Didn’t hear anything back from the teacher, but my daughter in the 3 years since has never been caught wagging again, so once again I can only assume that either she hasn’t been wagging OR she hasn’t been caught.

Children need boundaries, they also need to be able explore their environments and be able to suffer the consequences (as long as those consequences won’t harm them) as often as possible.

I have blogged about bits and pieces of this previously – here are some examples:-
I hope this will save my daughter’s life sometime in the future – a little pain now – might save a lot of pain later on:- Children, Roos, Seatbelts and Windscreens - Childrens, Roos, Seatbelts and Windscreens

I hope this shows my children that yes I can be hard, but there is a reason for being so and sometimes, you think life is pretty hard, well this shows that you have it pretty good by comparison:- Kids and Life


  1. I don't think you are hard on your kids.
    In fact I would have said exactly the same things to my boys and their schools as far as the blazer and wagging school incidents.

  2. Thanks for that Blossy - I sometimes feel I am too hard, especially when I look around, but then I look at my 'darlins' (When they not threatening to kill each other)and hope I am doing the right thing!

  3. Totally with you on this too! I always look at my kids like they are little adults -cause one day they will be. They need the lessons now to make successful and happy adults.

  4. Natalie - but like me - do you try and give them some childhood too?
    Sometimes people overlook childhood as an inconvenience - Kids also need to learn to be kids as well as responsible for their own actions or inactions!