Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Dysfunctional Families

What an eye-opener. Recently we had a party to celebrate the coming of age of my daughter. The party went smoothly, but what I found out about some of the kids knocked the wind out of me.

Some facts:-
Many of the children were living with their grandparents, not their parents
Many parents couldn't care less where the kids were and that is from 13yo to 19yo
Many of the kids drink to forget
Kids think it is okay to bludge off the government, as then they don’t have to worry about getting up in the morning
They have never been encouraged to participate in sports, it was easier for mum and dad to buy more Play station games

Some of these kids don’t know what real love is. So instead they look for the first thing or person that will ‘love’ them. This could be a dog, a rat (yup) or a person of the opposite gender.

This causes other issues, a child who I have known for the best part of 10 years and is now 16yo, is pregnant with twins. The mother is blasé about the whole thing and continues on with her normal life, ignoring this child, having children of her own. The child in the search for love, thinks that keeping these two children will solve her issues of ‘finding herself’ I pity both the child and the children. There is nothing else I can do……………… It turns out also that the sister, who is 13yo is using drugs and stealing to pay for these drugs. The mother is separated from the father and the father has disappeared off the face of the earth. Broken families appear to be more normal than abnormal and it is taking a toll on our society.

I’m not saying all broken families are dysfunctional but like always, it’s a couple of bad apples that paint the rest with a bad brush.

I wish people could get over their personal differences and look after their children. After all, we live to give life and then by our own pettiness and small-mindedness we destroy those lives.


  1. You have such a big heart and you are so right.

    I work with the age group grade 4-6 as a team leader every other weekend. There is nothing they want more than love. Yes sometimes their parents just don’t know how to show it. But it is truly amazing what happens when somebody does.

  2. Thank-you for the comment Natalie, It is amazing - I've seen the results myself. It takes just one person to take an interest. The younger the better. I've found once the kids get to 17,18,19 years old - life patterns are established along with the attention seeking behaviour and it is a 24 hour a day job, 7 days a week to even break down some of the barriers.
    I've had several children that I've been able to help and in all except 2 cases I've been able to turn around their lives. My biggest success (if you can call it that) was child where both parents were drug addicts, the grandmother no longer wanted to be involved and this child was almost on the street. She is now working as an apprectice hairdresser, something she organised and is thriving. Has alreayd figured out that working is far more important than partying and I'm pleased for her!

  3. I used to work in a primary school and was constantly shocked at the attitude of the parents. So many of the kids played up in class because they weren't getting the attention and love they needed at home :(

  4. Fen you are so right, but it's not just the acting the goat in class, they get out of school and then figure why go home? - Not wanted, needed, no-one cares if I do my homework. Then they get into the trouble and the cycle begins all over.
    The biggest thing is WHAT CAN BE DONE to break the cycle?
    The government every time they step in - only creates more nanny-state attitude and "I don't have to do anything" attitude because the government does it all for me.
    We are breeding people with no idea of what is right, socially, ethically, emotionally and responsibly.
    It saddens me.