A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn, the wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.
Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies. (Thinking, "Isn't it obvious?")
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you Could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day, ma'am," and he left. . . .
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
This email was passed to me in 2005 and was one I kept for moments like this. Gives me a giggle everytime I read it!
** I don’t know why a resort in northern Minnesota, but could be anywhere in the world.
Look out for part 2 tomorrow!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Trolls
(A long one, but worth the read)
I’m not talking about the trolls that live under your neighbourhood bridge. I’m talking about trolls on the internet, you know those horrible people that take great delight in shooting down every comment you make and make fun of you at every turn. That destroy something online that was good for the community.
Some of them are so good you may not even realize this is the case – until it is too late.
Trolls or trolling is not a new word, just something you hear bandied about lot, simply because of the anonymity of the internet has allowed them to breed in numbers not previously seen.
Once upon a time – you signed up to the internet and you were issued with an ISP email address and anyone worth their weight in forum/site admin would ensure that you used the ISP email to sign up with. That stopped a lot of the bullying and trolling and even the trolls from putting in an appearance for fear of being caught out.
Now days, more often than not, ISP’s no longer issue their own email addresses and rely on the user opening, operating and being responsible for their own email accounts, using a free method like gmail, yahoo or hotmail.
This in turn has forced site and forum admin to relax their rules and opened the door for multiple user names operated by the same person.
I’ve seen one person admit to having 20,30,40 different user names, just to stalk and harass people in one forum, and once they get a taste of the power. They become almost psychotic in their approach to forum and site rules and take great pleasure in getting others suspended/reprimanded and then boasting about it in other forums.
Then you find that a group or cliché of people get together creating further harm to sites and eventually the site is forced to close.
A perfect example is the ebay forum that used to exist in 2009, it was mostly a good place, and the admin were as good as could be expected considering the size, but the trolling and bad manners of a group or cliché of people, made ebay realize that it was not possible to sustain the forum in its current format.
So a new forum was created with different rules, to try and stop this sort of trolling behavior, unfortunately I don’t believe it has stopped, only caused the non-trolls to move elsewhere. That is only one example of perhaps thousands that happen on a daily basis.
Once the cliché get together, they then start sharing information and tools and invariably it doesn’t end, only grows as people search for some form of identity or something to make them feel important.
Once upon a time with an ISP registered email address, a report would be made to the ISP, and the ISP would take the offending account down and do whatever was necessary to prevent the action from occurring again. Now the ISP’s are toothless tigers and do nothing more than provide bandwidth.
With IP masking and shielding anything is possible, people just don’t realize how much is possible. For example it is possible to declare you are in England, or the USA or the Philippines (anywhere on Earth really), when in actual fact you don’t even possess a passport. You can post travel photos, and admin when checking the IP note that it is from the portrayed country and have no reason to be suspicious.
Then the multiple account holder, the number of user names is only limited to the amount of time available to the user to create and confirm email addresses and then create and confirm forum user names. See how easy it really is.
I could be anyone, in fact I could be any number of people, who do you believe, him, me or her over there or even the pet dog? – I am all the same person. In fact there is a whole family of me!
Never trust anyone or anything on the net – it’s not worth having your online reputation destroyed ;)
I’m not talking about the trolls that live under your neighbourhood bridge. I’m talking about trolls on the internet, you know those horrible people that take great delight in shooting down every comment you make and make fun of you at every turn. That destroy something online that was good for the community.
Some of them are so good you may not even realize this is the case – until it is too late.
Trolls or trolling is not a new word, just something you hear bandied about lot, simply because of the anonymity of the internet has allowed them to breed in numbers not previously seen.
Once upon a time – you signed up to the internet and you were issued with an ISP email address and anyone worth their weight in forum/site admin would ensure that you used the ISP email to sign up with. That stopped a lot of the bullying and trolling and even the trolls from putting in an appearance for fear of being caught out.
Now days, more often than not, ISP’s no longer issue their own email addresses and rely on the user opening, operating and being responsible for their own email accounts, using a free method like gmail, yahoo or hotmail.
This in turn has forced site and forum admin to relax their rules and opened the door for multiple user names operated by the same person.
I’ve seen one person admit to having 20,30,40 different user names, just to stalk and harass people in one forum, and once they get a taste of the power. They become almost psychotic in their approach to forum and site rules and take great pleasure in getting others suspended/reprimanded and then boasting about it in other forums.
Then you find that a group or cliché of people get together creating further harm to sites and eventually the site is forced to close.
A perfect example is the ebay forum that used to exist in 2009, it was mostly a good place, and the admin were as good as could be expected considering the size, but the trolling and bad manners of a group or cliché of people, made ebay realize that it was not possible to sustain the forum in its current format.
So a new forum was created with different rules, to try and stop this sort of trolling behavior, unfortunately I don’t believe it has stopped, only caused the non-trolls to move elsewhere. That is only one example of perhaps thousands that happen on a daily basis.
Once the cliché get together, they then start sharing information and tools and invariably it doesn’t end, only grows as people search for some form of identity or something to make them feel important.
Once upon a time with an ISP registered email address, a report would be made to the ISP, and the ISP would take the offending account down and do whatever was necessary to prevent the action from occurring again. Now the ISP’s are toothless tigers and do nothing more than provide bandwidth.
With IP masking and shielding anything is possible, people just don’t realize how much is possible. For example it is possible to declare you are in England, or the USA or the Philippines (anywhere on Earth really), when in actual fact you don’t even possess a passport. You can post travel photos, and admin when checking the IP note that it is from the portrayed country and have no reason to be suspicious.
Then the multiple account holder, the number of user names is only limited to the amount of time available to the user to create and confirm email addresses and then create and confirm forum user names. See how easy it really is.
I could be anyone, in fact I could be any number of people, who do you believe, him, me or her over there or even the pet dog? – I am all the same person. In fact there is a whole family of me!
Never trust anyone or anything on the net – it’s not worth having your online reputation destroyed ;)
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Where are all the Nanna’s and Grandpas?
Hubby and I were talking last night. A topic came up that made me realize that perhaps some of the current problems with our youth and in the family unit tied back to the age of the parents and grandparents and thus the passing on of these generations before the children are born.
Let's look at some numbers:-
Once upon a time it was extremely common for nanna, grandpa, mum and dad and children to all live nearby even under the same roof and sometimes even great nan and gramps. Which is four generations of family close by and three different generations to help with the upbringing of the next generation.
Now more often than not, there are no great nans and gramps and even nanna and grandpa have passed away. Leaving only the two of you and any off-spring. Which in turn leaves no-one to assist with discipline.
Is the increasing age of parents and marriage causing all the problems we are having with our youth currently??
Is the need to have everything and be ‘me’ before marriage killing our children and possibly the human race?
Let's look at some numbers:-
Once upon a time it was extremely common for nanna, grandpa, mum and dad and children to all live nearby even under the same roof and sometimes even great nan and gramps. Which is four generations of family close by and three different generations to help with the upbringing of the next generation.
Now more often than not, there are no great nans and gramps and even nanna and grandpa have passed away. Leaving only the two of you and any off-spring. Which in turn leaves no-one to assist with discipline.
Is the increasing age of parents and marriage causing all the problems we are having with our youth currently??
Is the need to have everything and be ‘me’ before marriage killing our children and possibly the human race?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Go to Work Naked Day
I’ve just got off the phone after talking to my darling daughter, the conversation went something like this:-
Daughter – have you seen my purple shirt?
Mum – It’s in the laundry, folded in half, I can’t remember which basket
Daughter – I’ve looked, I can’t find it, it’s not on the clothes horse, not in the baskets, not in the tunble dryer, not in the dirties either. Where is it? I’m going to be late
Mum – I told you, it’s folded in half in one of the baskets.
Daughter – it’s not there
Mum – take one of my shirts
Daughter – HUMPH
Mum – then go to work naked
And I hung up the phone.
She’s 18 and working 9hrs during the day and 15hr of an evening through the week. She pays minimum board (See **Here**) She doesn’t help around the house at the moment unless she wants something, so I am not going to make her life any easier than normal.
I think I handled it well - would you have done anything differently?
Daughter – have you seen my purple shirt?
Mum – It’s in the laundry, folded in half, I can’t remember which basket
Daughter – I’ve looked, I can’t find it, it’s not on the clothes horse, not in the baskets, not in the tunble dryer, not in the dirties either. Where is it? I’m going to be late
Mum – I told you, it’s folded in half in one of the baskets.
Daughter – it’s not there
Mum – take one of my shirts
Daughter – HUMPH
Mum – then go to work naked
And I hung up the phone.
She’s 18 and working 9hrs during the day and 15hr of an evening through the week. She pays minimum board (See **Here**) She doesn’t help around the house at the moment unless she wants something, so I am not going to make her life any easier than normal.
I think I handled it well - would you have done anything differently?
Bullying is in the news again
‘Sticks and Stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is so far from the truth, and you don't realise that until you, your children or your family experience bullying, you don’t realise how far from real life this little ditty really is.
Bullying has been going on for as long as you, me, our fathers, and our fathers fathers’ and their fathers learned to walk and talk . This doesn’t make it right. But in this dog eat dog world it has become acceptable to put the weaker gender/person down for as long as possible for personal advantage. Bullies are often inept in social gatherings, they feel inferior, be it at school or work and they think that by standing over those that are better they will be able to force that person to leave or become submissive. Often (but not always) bullies are male, but there are some serious cases of females having engaged in this behaviour also.
There are various forms of bullying from young children, were the stronger child takes the toy from the weaker child and the weaker child ends up crying.
Then the older children, primary school age, where name calling and exclusion in team environments seems to be the preferred method of proving who is stronger.
Then the next stage is secondary school, where verbal bullying and physical violence becomes the normal method of inflicting mental and physical pain upon the weaker person. Along with stealing or removing and defacing property of those being bullied.
Then low and behold the bullying moves into the work environment, where more often than not, the bullying takes the form of mental abuse. Physical and verbal bullying can’t work in this environment because of workplace protection laws. The only time the regulations assist the bully is if the boss is ‘in on it’
There is another method of bullying that has not been documented or recorded and that is bullying by proxy, where physical, verbal or mental abuse it dished out by a third party at the encouragement of the instigator.
Recently, the news has been talking up the number of incidents involving knives in the school yard. Knives may be able to maim and kill, but so can words and fists. People need to understand as a society that one implement is not the only killer available to the bully.
Just last week there was a case in the news where a young woman decided to end it all because of workplace bullying. This is not right. But who could she turn to? Bullying is seen as a silent killer.
It doesn’t matter what age you are – you can succumb to bullying at any stage. A little like a virulent strain of the flu – one moment of weakness can cause you to become a victim, age nor gender is no barrier whatsoever.
If you are a teacher in the education system a good book that may be able to assist you and your school to become bully-free is “Shared Responsibility-Beating bullying in Australian Schools” by Ian Findley. This is a very concise book, that offers workable methods and solutions for the victim, the bully and the teacher. I have prsonally experienced the effect this teaching has had on someone close to me and I have nothing but praise.
If you are subject to bullying, at school or in the workplace, keep a diary of the events and when they happen and give that diary to your teacher or your boss. (keeping a copy for yourself) But the most important thing is not to allow yourself to become a victim, use your network of friends, family and teachers and bosses to help you beat the bully, and show him/her what their actions are doing.
You don’t have to do it alone, there are people out there ready and able to help you. But you have to accept that bullying is occuring before anyone is able to help you.
Life does goes on, even if now it seems that it can't. <-- This is from someone who knows!
Bullying has been going on for as long as you, me, our fathers, and our fathers fathers’ and their fathers learned to walk and talk . This doesn’t make it right. But in this dog eat dog world it has become acceptable to put the weaker gender/person down for as long as possible for personal advantage. Bullies are often inept in social gatherings, they feel inferior, be it at school or work and they think that by standing over those that are better they will be able to force that person to leave or become submissive. Often (but not always) bullies are male, but there are some serious cases of females having engaged in this behaviour also.
There are various forms of bullying from young children, were the stronger child takes the toy from the weaker child and the weaker child ends up crying.
Then the older children, primary school age, where name calling and exclusion in team environments seems to be the preferred method of proving who is stronger.
Then the next stage is secondary school, where verbal bullying and physical violence becomes the normal method of inflicting mental and physical pain upon the weaker person. Along with stealing or removing and defacing property of those being bullied.
Then low and behold the bullying moves into the work environment, where more often than not, the bullying takes the form of mental abuse. Physical and verbal bullying can’t work in this environment because of workplace protection laws. The only time the regulations assist the bully is if the boss is ‘in on it’
There is another method of bullying that has not been documented or recorded and that is bullying by proxy, where physical, verbal or mental abuse it dished out by a third party at the encouragement of the instigator.
Recently, the news has been talking up the number of incidents involving knives in the school yard. Knives may be able to maim and kill, but so can words and fists. People need to understand as a society that one implement is not the only killer available to the bully.
Just last week there was a case in the news where a young woman decided to end it all because of workplace bullying. This is not right. But who could she turn to? Bullying is seen as a silent killer.
It doesn’t matter what age you are – you can succumb to bullying at any stage. A little like a virulent strain of the flu – one moment of weakness can cause you to become a victim, age nor gender is no barrier whatsoever.
If you are a teacher in the education system a good book that may be able to assist you and your school to become bully-free is “Shared Responsibility-Beating bullying in Australian Schools” by Ian Findley. This is a very concise book, that offers workable methods and solutions for the victim, the bully and the teacher. I have prsonally experienced the effect this teaching has had on someone close to me and I have nothing but praise.
If you are subject to bullying, at school or in the workplace, keep a diary of the events and when they happen and give that diary to your teacher or your boss. (keeping a copy for yourself) But the most important thing is not to allow yourself to become a victim, use your network of friends, family and teachers and bosses to help you beat the bully, and show him/her what their actions are doing.
You don’t have to do it alone, there are people out there ready and able to help you. But you have to accept that bullying is occuring before anyone is able to help you.
Life does goes on, even if now it seems that it can't. <-- This is from someone who knows!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Yoghurt Plus – Dog Food – Review #1
19.02.10
I’ve been asked to review the product Yoghurt Plus, as the title suggests it is a dog food. I have a Jack Russell called Shorty and he’s going to help assess this product!
I received delivery of the product today – so today is as good a time as any to start reviewing Yoghurt Plus.
I received 2 flavours – the first one we are trying is the Lamb, Rice and Vegetable.
My first impressions are the packaging looks nice and the size (1.25kg) is just right for handling and pouring into the bowl.
I opened the sealed alfoil type pack with a pair of scissors, the first thing I notice is the smell. It’s very strong. Perhaps dairy based (which could be from the yoghurt)
I placed the dry pieces in the normal bowl that I feed the Shorty in (He’s self-serve), he sniffed it and looked at me.
I gave him 1 piece from my hand, he ate it with a slight struggle. The piece is bigger than what he is used to – but he did willingly eat it.
He then returned to the bowl and ate several pieces. So for the first ‘meal’ It would appear that he is happy.
Further information can be found at www.yoghurtplus.com.au
Just to give you an idea of the size and Shorty’s possible reluctance to eat – each Yoghurt Plus piece is the equivalent of 2.7 pieces of the dry food he normally eats.
In size he is a standard size Jack Russell – weighs 6.6kilo (last week) – I don’t think that would have changed much!
Regular updates will ensue – looks good and is readily available at Coles.
I’ve been asked to review the product Yoghurt Plus, as the title suggests it is a dog food. I have a Jack Russell called Shorty and he’s going to help assess this product!
I received delivery of the product today – so today is as good a time as any to start reviewing Yoghurt Plus.
I received 2 flavours – the first one we are trying is the Lamb, Rice and Vegetable.
My first impressions are the packaging looks nice and the size (1.25kg) is just right for handling and pouring into the bowl.
I opened the sealed alfoil type pack with a pair of scissors, the first thing I notice is the smell. It’s very strong. Perhaps dairy based (which could be from the yoghurt)
I placed the dry pieces in the normal bowl that I feed the Shorty in (He’s self-serve), he sniffed it and looked at me.
I gave him 1 piece from my hand, he ate it with a slight struggle. The piece is bigger than what he is used to – but he did willingly eat it.
He then returned to the bowl and ate several pieces. So for the first ‘meal’ It would appear that he is happy.
Further information can be found at www.yoghurtplus.com.au
Just to give you an idea of the size and Shorty’s possible reluctance to eat – each Yoghurt Plus piece is the equivalent of 2.7 pieces of the dry food he normally eats.
In size he is a standard size Jack Russell – weighs 6.6kilo (last week) – I don’t think that would have changed much!
Regular updates will ensue – looks good and is readily available at Coles.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
PONDERISMS
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Friday, February 19, 2010
Back-Up – Did I Say Back-Up?
Tell me – When was the last time you backed up the data on your computer?
Can you remember?
I’m not just talking about the documents, but the photos, the family history, that you always mean to organise and never quite get around to doing.
Those images, those documents are IRREPLACEABLE.
Johhny’s first birthday party or Grandpa’s 80th birthday. They will all be gone if you have a hard-drive failure or similar. Refer Here as to what this similar might encompass
Back everything up – I don’t care what media you use – just back it up and move it off premises. That way if something catastrophic does occur – you will have lost little. Make a habit of it – and do it perhaps once a month, Alternatively – if you can afford it, get off-site data back-up, depending on the connection and the data volume, will determine the cost.
I use plain old data CD’s and copy everything to CD-RW and take a copy to work and the switch that with the 2nd copy and maintain the backwards and forwards, Emails I have set up to automatically be forwarded to a third account, which is used purely for storage. There are many cost-free alternatives.
Use them and by thinking outside the square – you will lose little if your hard-drive fails or flooding, or fire. You have taken another step to protecting yourself and ensuring your family history lives on!
Can you remember?
I’m not just talking about the documents, but the photos, the family history, that you always mean to organise and never quite get around to doing.
Those images, those documents are IRREPLACEABLE.
Johhny’s first birthday party or Grandpa’s 80th birthday. They will all be gone if you have a hard-drive failure or similar. Refer Here as to what this similar might encompass
Back everything up – I don’t care what media you use – just back it up and move it off premises. That way if something catastrophic does occur – you will have lost little. Make a habit of it – and do it perhaps once a month, Alternatively – if you can afford it, get off-site data back-up, depending on the connection and the data volume, will determine the cost.
I use plain old data CD’s and copy everything to CD-RW and take a copy to work and the switch that with the 2nd copy and maintain the backwards and forwards, Emails I have set up to automatically be forwarded to a third account, which is used purely for storage. There are many cost-free alternatives.
Use them and by thinking outside the square – you will lose little if your hard-drive fails or flooding, or fire. You have taken another step to protecting yourself and ensuring your family history lives on!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
A Change of Pace in the Country
Thought I would share some photos today - a wonderful sunset all enjoyed from the backdoor step - hope you can enjoy the view as much as I did
Near Whittlesea, Victoria, Australia
November 2009
Please note that no photo has been photoshopped on this blog, cropped yes, photoshopped NO!
Enjoy all of natures beauty!
Please visit Redbubble, perhaps there is something there you would like to purchase. Refer the photos below!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
It’s Red, Very Red!
The neighbours are not happy, the cat is not happy and the dog is definitely not happy!
This all started the day the concrete was laid. I got this crazy idea, let’s paint the floor of the new shed – FIRE ENGINE RED!
Yup – new shed, new concrete floor to be painted fire engine red!
Why? – don’t know – but I thought a good idea.
The idea was run past the neighbours, they shook their heads and thought we were mad.
We are mad! – Hubby went to the local concrete suppliers, who sold us their reddest paint – it was terracotta.
Two coats and the floor is RED! – smiles from hubby and I.
The neighbours still think we are mad – and I agree with them, it’s easier than disagreeing!
My red floor will knock your socks off – boy does it look good and boy is it shiny!
I love my red shed floor!
Oh the cat is not happy – she now has red feet and the dog is not happy he got in the wrong spot at the wrong time and is now known as red spot dog!
This all started the day the concrete was laid. I got this crazy idea, let’s paint the floor of the new shed – FIRE ENGINE RED!
Yup – new shed, new concrete floor to be painted fire engine red!
Why? – don’t know – but I thought a good idea.
The idea was run past the neighbours, they shook their heads and thought we were mad.
We are mad! – Hubby went to the local concrete suppliers, who sold us their reddest paint – it was terracotta.
Two coats and the floor is RED! – smiles from hubby and I.
The neighbours still think we are mad – and I agree with them, it’s easier than disagreeing!
My red floor will knock your socks off – boy does it look good and boy is it shiny!
I love my red shed floor!
Oh the cat is not happy – she now has red feet and the dog is not happy he got in the wrong spot at the wrong time and is now known as red spot dog!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Elmo
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm. Well Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 a.m. The next day at 8:45am, there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that
she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself so the two men marched down to the factory floor. When they get there the Elmo line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pull's himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday.............
"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles".
she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself so the two men marched down to the factory floor. When they get there the Elmo line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pull's himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday.............
"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles".
Friday, February 12, 2010
Don’t Slam that Door Again
The door slams once, the door slams twice. The door seems to slam every time the teenager enters and exits the room. If this is what family life has deteriorated to, then I am not sure I want to participate anymore.
Laying in bed, thinking, thinking, thinking, how can I stop the door being slammed and the paint cracked?
Thinking, thinking, BINGO!
The next day an ultimatum is issued. Slam that door ONE more time and I shall remove it from its hinges.
“NO, you won’t. You can’t. I’ll tell the teachers”
“Yes I can and Yes I will. I am sick of you trying to bully me and thinking you can get away with it”
Door slams
I grab the meat tenderizer (my great multi-purpose tool) and a 2-inch nail. I enter said teenagers bedroom and proceed to remove pins from door hinges. The entire time abuse is being yelled, threats made and ignored. You know the story, I’m sure.
Pins remove, door off hinge, bedroom no longer has a door.
Silence ensues. Silence is golden. Manners return. No more slamming doors.
Door re-instated 48hrs later and no longer is a door slammed in my house.
Don’t slam that door, Kidlets – it ain’t worth the punishment.
Laying in bed, thinking, thinking, thinking, how can I stop the door being slammed and the paint cracked?
Thinking, thinking, BINGO!
The next day an ultimatum is issued. Slam that door ONE more time and I shall remove it from its hinges.
“NO, you won’t. You can’t. I’ll tell the teachers”
“Yes I can and Yes I will. I am sick of you trying to bully me and thinking you can get away with it”
Door slams
I grab the meat tenderizer (my great multi-purpose tool) and a 2-inch nail. I enter said teenagers bedroom and proceed to remove pins from door hinges. The entire time abuse is being yelled, threats made and ignored. You know the story, I’m sure.
Pins remove, door off hinge, bedroom no longer has a door.
Silence ensues. Silence is golden. Manners return. No more slamming doors.
Door re-instated 48hrs later and no longer is a door slammed in my house.
Don’t slam that door, Kidlets – it ain’t worth the punishment.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Dysfunctional Families
What an eye-opener. Recently we had a party to celebrate the coming of age of my daughter. The party went smoothly, but what I found out about some of the kids knocked the wind out of me.
Some facts:-
Many of the children were living with their grandparents, not their parents
Many parents couldn't care less where the kids were and that is from 13yo to 19yo
Many of the kids drink to forget
Kids think it is okay to bludge off the government, as then they don’t have to worry about getting up in the morning
They have never been encouraged to participate in sports, it was easier for mum and dad to buy more Play station games
Some of these kids don’t know what real love is. So instead they look for the first thing or person that will ‘love’ them. This could be a dog, a rat (yup) or a person of the opposite gender.
This causes other issues, a child who I have known for the best part of 10 years and is now 16yo, is pregnant with twins. The mother is blasé about the whole thing and continues on with her normal life, ignoring this child, having children of her own. The child in the search for love, thinks that keeping these two children will solve her issues of ‘finding herself’ I pity both the child and the children. There is nothing else I can do……………… It turns out also that the sister, who is 13yo is using drugs and stealing to pay for these drugs. The mother is separated from the father and the father has disappeared off the face of the earth. Broken families appear to be more normal than abnormal and it is taking a toll on our society.
I’m not saying all broken families are dysfunctional but like always, it’s a couple of bad apples that paint the rest with a bad brush.
I wish people could get over their personal differences and look after their children. After all, we live to give life and then by our own pettiness and small-mindedness we destroy those lives.
Some facts:-
Many of the children were living with their grandparents, not their parents
Many parents couldn't care less where the kids were and that is from 13yo to 19yo
Many of the kids drink to forget
Kids think it is okay to bludge off the government, as then they don’t have to worry about getting up in the morning
They have never been encouraged to participate in sports, it was easier for mum and dad to buy more Play station games
Some of these kids don’t know what real love is. So instead they look for the first thing or person that will ‘love’ them. This could be a dog, a rat (yup) or a person of the opposite gender.
This causes other issues, a child who I have known for the best part of 10 years and is now 16yo, is pregnant with twins. The mother is blasé about the whole thing and continues on with her normal life, ignoring this child, having children of her own. The child in the search for love, thinks that keeping these two children will solve her issues of ‘finding herself’ I pity both the child and the children. There is nothing else I can do……………… It turns out also that the sister, who is 13yo is using drugs and stealing to pay for these drugs. The mother is separated from the father and the father has disappeared off the face of the earth. Broken families appear to be more normal than abnormal and it is taking a toll on our society.
I’m not saying all broken families are dysfunctional but like always, it’s a couple of bad apples that paint the rest with a bad brush.
I wish people could get over their personal differences and look after their children. After all, we live to give life and then by our own pettiness and small-mindedness we destroy those lives.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Marge the rains are ‘ere
November 2009
(A delayed posting - but what the heck? - Still Funny - even now!)
Cup Weekend in Melbourne saw the ritual mowing of the firebreaks begin – well we hoped! We have had more rain than previous years and thus the grass actually grew, thus enabling us to mow it.
It was a comedy of errors/problems.
The push-me-pull me mower, wouldn’t start. Pulled the spark plugs, cleaned them, re-spaced them and it worked.
The ride-on mower – had to jump start it, as it wouldn’t crank over. Should have been easy, alas was not meant to be. The smell of petrol was over-riding, a quick check under the bonnet revealed a split fuel hose. Shouldn’t be a problem, except services stations no longer service anything, they only supply fuel, nothing else. A 60km round trip and we have acquired a new fuel hose. Fuel hose fitted, jumper leads fitted, mower started, but intermittently stalling. Persistence pays off, the carbon is blown out – the mower works. Until, half-way round the front yard and the magnets that hold the deck up failed, due to the low power in the battery, thus causing the mower deck to cut out. No amount of persuading would make it work. Of course it is Sunday and a new battery is not so easily acquired! Ride-on left in front yard as dead as a dodo!
We move onto the tractor, so we can slash the paddocks, once again the battery is flat, tow it out of the shed, hook up the jumper leads. So should be an easy fix, or so we thought. It’s been that long we forgot which levers need to be in which positions to get the bloody thing to turn over!
Finally after 10 minutes the engine is turning over. Yippee. The front fire break is cut, now the property boundaries to be done. The heavy clover clogs up the deck and the tractor is stalled. Car bought over to the tractor, tractor jump started again, and the merry-go-round starts!
Stall, jump leads, start, Stall, jump leads, start, in the end we leave the bloody thing in the paddock like some monolithic giant!
The ride-on and tractor remain in the paddocks until Monday morning. New batteries acquired, only ½ the job done.
BUGGER – now the other 10 acres needs to be cut. Could be fun next weekend (Not!)
Monday, February 8, 2010
The tooth-fairy predicament
The excitement of a lost tooth;the excitement of placing the lost tooth in the glass on the bathroom vanity or under the pillow.
And then it is time for the tooth fairy to do his/her work.
Waiting, waiting the tooth fairy waits for the child to sleep. The child is excited, it’s getting late.
The tooth-fairy nods off, the tooth forgotten.
The tooth-fairy finds a pillow to rest their weary head. The tooth fairy falls asleep.
The sun is rising, oh no, the tooth fairy forgot.
Mad rush, the child is awake, the tooth-fairy can’t visit now, the tooth fairy despairs.
But there is a solution!
The tooth-fairy was tired, I am sure they haven’t forgotten. The tooth fairy will come tomorrow, don’t worry little one, I promise.
Not all is lost – just be convincing and your little one will believe for one more day.
Wish the tooth fairy well – without belief there is no magic and the world would be a sad place.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
A Walmart that sells husbands
A Walmart store that sells husbands has just opened in Dallas, TX where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. Among the instructions at the entrance, is a description of how the store operates. There are only 6 floors. It states that the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch....
As you open the door to any floor you may choose any man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So, a woman goes to the Walmart Husband Store to find a husband......
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the
housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,012 to this floor! There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping Wal-Mart's Husband Store.
Watch your step as you exit the building - and have a nice day!
There is, however, a catch....
As you open the door to any floor you may choose any man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So, a woman goes to the Walmart Husband Store to find a husband......
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the
housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,012 to this floor! There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping Wal-Mart's Husband Store.
Watch your step as you exit the building - and have a nice day!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Surgery for my ‘other’ baby
I wasn’t going to say anything – but……………….. well – I am now.
My Jack Russell is in for an operation on his ear – The silly little bugger managed to get a grass seed into his inner ear – which was causing him pain.
The first sign was he was a little ‘off-colour’ but not enough to rush to the vets, then I came home last night and he was tilting his head to the side AND also shaking it. The equivalent of a child pulling at his ear when he has an ear infection.
So an appointment made with the local vets – and off we trot.
I’m used to handling animals – but his ear was so sore – that even with me holding him in a headlock, the vet was unable to see what the problem was and seemed to think I was dreaming. It wasn’t until the consultation was almost over – that I realized the only was to show the vet I wasn't dreaming was to become the vet. So I did and within 30 seconds, my brave little man was whimpering in pain.
When he left me - very reluctantly - he was looking back and managed to hit the door jamb! - Fool that he is! - They promised me he wouldn't pine. I hope not.
Further investigation, resulted in him being kept for sedation and probing of the ear. The sedation done and examination completed. He was found to have a grass seed buried deep in his inner ear.
This can’t just be removed, it requires surgery – lucky me. So instead of traumatising him further, I decided to allow him to remain at the vets overnight for the operation to be done today.
I’ve just rung and apparently they are completing the operation as I write this. My poor little boy.
And………. I’ve just received a call back – he’s fine – but the little bugger looks like he stuck the equivalent of a tree branch into his ear – for all of his 6.6kg mass – he had TWO grass seeds in his ear. What are the chances of that?
These seeds are 5-10mm long and he had TWO OF them IN his ear – no wonder he was in so much pain.
I pick him up at 8pm tonight – fingers crossed
Poor baby!
***************************************************
Update
We are home - and everything is OK - The two seeds pulled out
Total cost $214.00 which is not as bad as what I thought it would be.
There was a little bit of delay and the 'vet' dog "Dr Bill" took a liking to me and decided I was his owner. Sat on the couch next to me and made sure I patted him.
When I was called into the consulting room, Dr Bill followed me and demanded more attention and then was evicted as my little man made his entrance. Dr Bill was waiting outside the exam room for me to return - Cutey!
Thanks for your well wishes - I was lost without my little boy Shorty
My Jack Russell is in for an operation on his ear – The silly little bugger managed to get a grass seed into his inner ear – which was causing him pain.
The first sign was he was a little ‘off-colour’ but not enough to rush to the vets, then I came home last night and he was tilting his head to the side AND also shaking it. The equivalent of a child pulling at his ear when he has an ear infection.
So an appointment made with the local vets – and off we trot.
I’m used to handling animals – but his ear was so sore – that even with me holding him in a headlock, the vet was unable to see what the problem was and seemed to think I was dreaming. It wasn’t until the consultation was almost over – that I realized the only was to show the vet I wasn't dreaming was to become the vet. So I did and within 30 seconds, my brave little man was whimpering in pain.
When he left me - very reluctantly - he was looking back and managed to hit the door jamb! - Fool that he is! - They promised me he wouldn't pine. I hope not.
Further investigation, resulted in him being kept for sedation and probing of the ear. The sedation done and examination completed. He was found to have a grass seed buried deep in his inner ear.
This can’t just be removed, it requires surgery – lucky me. So instead of traumatising him further, I decided to allow him to remain at the vets overnight for the operation to be done today.
I’ve just rung and apparently they are completing the operation as I write this. My poor little boy.
And………. I’ve just received a call back – he’s fine – but the little bugger looks like he stuck the equivalent of a tree branch into his ear – for all of his 6.6kg mass – he had TWO grass seeds in his ear. What are the chances of that?
These seeds are 5-10mm long and he had TWO OF them IN his ear – no wonder he was in so much pain.
I pick him up at 8pm tonight – fingers crossed
Poor baby!
***************************************************
Update
We are home - and everything is OK - The two seeds pulled out
Total cost $214.00 which is not as bad as what I thought it would be.
There was a little bit of delay and the 'vet' dog "Dr Bill" took a liking to me and decided I was his owner. Sat on the couch next to me and made sure I patted him.
When I was called into the consulting room, Dr Bill followed me and demanded more attention and then was evicted as my little man made his entrance. Dr Bill was waiting outside the exam room for me to return - Cutey!
Thanks for your well wishes - I was lost without my little boy Shorty
The Wireless Modem and Children
I have found a new point of torture for my children. I’m sure you have the same problem, they turn deaf whenever something needs to be done. They suddenly acquire Alzheimer’s when you ask them to do something as you head out the door. They won’t go to bed, they basically refuse to listen and you are sick of it.
Most often the cause seems to be a conversation via MSN or a computer game. (we only have computers and PSP2 here)
I’ve found a solution for us and possibly for you!
We run a modem with an aerial, which allows the kids, via dongles to access the internet.
I unplug said aerial and thus instantly remove internet access!
Suddenly I have mild, co-operative, non-combative children begging to do as I ask.
Try it – you might be surprised at the results. If they really peeve you off – try taking the aerial to work with you, BUT make sure you have password protected your PC or they will just use that as an access point!
Good luck!
Most often the cause seems to be a conversation via MSN or a computer game. (we only have computers and PSP2 here)
I’ve found a solution for us and possibly for you!
We run a modem with an aerial, which allows the kids, via dongles to access the internet.
I unplug said aerial and thus instantly remove internet access!
Suddenly I have mild, co-operative, non-combative children begging to do as I ask.
Try it – you might be surprised at the results. If they really peeve you off – try taking the aerial to work with you, BUT make sure you have password protected your PC or they will just use that as an access point!
Good luck!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
I Walk therefore I am…. ...........................
It’s hard to describe the pain I am in some days – the doctors admit there is little they can do, other than ‘manage’ the pain until such time as I can no longer deal with it.
Sounds ominous doesn’t it? – Apparently IF I was to undergo the knife – I have a 60% to 70% chance of amputation if they do operate.
This is what my leg looks like
What you see there is a non-union spiral diagonal fracture of the fibula – with an accompanying crush injury. I suppose this is what happens when you play with horses.
Most days I walk under my own steam with no assistance, for longer jaunts I take a stick as a precaution, and I carry crutches in the car for bad days; Which thankfully have been few and far between.
Refer HERE for the events leading up to my leg being permanently broken.
Sometimes I feel like the walking dead, sometimes I would love to curl up in a corner and let the world rumble by and forget about me – but life doesn’t work like that.
Therefore I walk, therefore I am.
Stay strong, each challenge that life places upon your shoulders is done for some reason unknown to us – but I believe there is a reason for every event in our life.
I have to believe that or I think I would go mad!
Sounds ominous doesn’t it? – Apparently IF I was to undergo the knife – I have a 60% to 70% chance of amputation if they do operate.
This is what my leg looks like
What you see there is a non-union spiral diagonal fracture of the fibula – with an accompanying crush injury. I suppose this is what happens when you play with horses.
Most days I walk under my own steam with no assistance, for longer jaunts I take a stick as a precaution, and I carry crutches in the car for bad days; Which thankfully have been few and far between.
Refer HERE for the events leading up to my leg being permanently broken.
Sometimes I feel like the walking dead, sometimes I would love to curl up in a corner and let the world rumble by and forget about me – but life doesn’t work like that.
Therefore I walk, therefore I am.
Stay strong, each challenge that life places upon your shoulders is done for some reason unknown to us – but I believe there is a reason for every event in our life.
I have to believe that or I think I would go mad!
Monday, February 1, 2010
The day I killed my horse
My horse, my friend of 20 years. She was a big girl, 18hh for those who understand that. She was crop high and had no neck. She was a registered appaloosa. Everyone who had ever seen her, always remembered her. She was a striking girl. No neck, almost steel grey in summer and speckled grey in winter.
I received a call from the owners of the property that she was staying on for grass control to advise me she had been rolling and was sweating. I raced home, suspecting that she had colic.
I called the vet and organized for them to meet me at home (500m from the property) I walked her home with the Old Man, her life-time mate following, no halter, no bridle.
The vet gave her some pain killers and then the waiting began. I walked and walked and walked her. For 5 hours. There is little else that can be done. An operation can be done, but the cost and the age of the horse, pre-determined that this was not a viable option.
The Old Man, walked beside me almost the entire time, encouraging her, encouraging me to try and fix the pain. It was a constant battle to keep her on her feet. She constantly wanted to roll to stop the pain. This is the worst thing you can let them do.
The vet came back and advised there was nothing else could be done. A decision had to made and the sooner the better.
I sent the children down to the property that the horses had come from to advise them that needed to come and say good-bye. Hubby was yet to come home. I was alone. She went to roll again. The pain killers must have been wearing off. I ended up underneath her. I heard my leg ‘pop’ the pain was unbearable.
I remember her getting up and off me, the pain was agonizing. I rolled under a raised water tank, thinking that would give me some protection if she came down again.
The Old Man was trying to help her. She was trying to figure out why I was hiding from her.
Hubby came home, called out apparently, I don’t remember hearing him. The kids came back with the friends to say goodbye to her. All these people and no-one could see me!
Finally I was spotted under the tank, passed out. Many hands tried to get me out and walking. I couldn’t weight bear.
Ambulance was called, I refused to leave until she had been “dropped” In other words killed.
All was organized. All was done, I could leave, knowing that I had done the best thing I could in the circumstances. I could not leave her to suffer and I refused to leave my friend of 20 years in agony whilst I was tended.
RIP – Garrisson Three Bells (Char) – I knew you and loved you for 20 years.
See tomorrows post for the continuing story........................
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