The Truck, the Commodore and the Fallout #9

Post 8
On the 15th May 1998 I was involved in car V truck accident, that saw a commodore shortened by 3 foot either end. The following entries are from a diary I kept at the time.

It’s now 13 years later and the pain is still here – the TAC of course have wiped their hands of me. I learnt a long time ago that the only person you can rely on is you and it’s something that has stood me in good stead for longer than I can remember.

8th August 1998

I went to the Chiro’s again yesterday. I was feeling absolutely terrible. I had missed an appointment the night previous, which like the chiro said was very unlike me. When I think about it I was really only concentrating on getting the kids and going home. I was not worried about anything else. The pain was too severe.

……… I think I may be pushing myself too hard, but the house is a mess. My life is a mess and I must get going and force the pain away. I feel like a malingerer, but I know the pain is real. The boss at work is pretty unsympathetic and only cares that I turn up at work on time.

……… Currently my whole right are feels as if it is on fire and my right hand side of my ribs is very sore and causing a lot of discomfort. My right arm and hand feel a little numb, although I have full movement.

……… Driving the car is an experience in itself. I am glad that the car has power steering………. The effort of holding my hand at 2 o’clock on the steering wheel is beyond explanation and pressing the clutch peddle sends waves of pain through both hips and radiating up my back and down both legs. What can I do? I can not afford a new car and an older smaller car would be harder to manage and more expensive to maintain.

The medication that I am on does not seem to help much and I find that I am also taking panadeine forte on occasions to try and get some sleep at night. SLEEP is a word that I am finding harder and harder to enjoy………..

Last night my son must have had a sore belly and was screaming and carrying on. Hubby and I thought that he may settle if we put him in bed with us. In the end I threatened him with ‘shut up or I will thump you’ referring to my son and his screaming. I was absolutely exhausted. What can I do?

……… I do not know if I can cope with much more. When I get home there is kid feeding and bathing and bed time stories and meals to be cooked and housework to be done. Hubby is not home until almost bedtime because of work and I am left to cope on my own. It’s not his fault.

I have trouble speaking to people about these things because people do not understand. They can not understand the pain and the emotional problems associated with an accident where there is no injury visible.

I feel so helpless…………..

I feel so tired all the time and my energy levels are non-existent.

I have just read what I have written, some of it raved a little bit, but like I said I can’t talk to people and find that writing things down, the words flow and the emotions flow with it. Making for a somewhat broken but true explanation of how I’m feeling and doing in life.

Post 10

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